Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ должен быть более естественным и грамматически правильным. Избегайте противоречивых слов, таких как "but however". Используйте связки для плавного перехода между идеями и старайтесь не повторять слова без необходимости.

例: I enjoyed drawing a lot when I was a child because it allowed me to express my creativity and imagination. However, nowadays I don't have much time for it. Still, I hope to find some free time in the future to take up drawing again as a relaxing hobby.

提案: Ответ должен быть более связным и грамматически правильным. Используйте связующие слова для логичности и избегайте коротких неполных предложений. Также старайтесь давать более подробные и конкретные описания.

例: Honestly, I had never been to an art gallery before this year. The first and only time was last month when I went with my advisory students. It was a very interesting exhibition with many unique small artworks, which I really enjoyed experiencing.

提案: Ответ содержит ошибки и непонятные слова, например, "ODD" и "my card". Следует использовать правильные слова и выражения, а также связные предложения, чтобы ответ был понятен и логичен.

例: I'm not very interested in learning more about art because I prefer to focus on developing my professional skills. For instance, since I plan to work in the IT field, I believe practical knowledge is more useful for my career development.

提案: Ответ содержит много грамматических ошибок и непонятных фраз. Следует строить предложения более связно, использовать правильные слова и давать конкретные детали, чтобы ответ был понятен и информативен.

例: Since I was a child, my mom prepared me for many activities. I attended various classes, including dancing and drawing. The drawing course was interesting, and I learned many things about techniques and basic architecture.

× When I was a child, I really enjoy drawing because it helped me to express my creativity and improve my imagination.

✓ When I was a child, I really enjoyed drawing because it helped me to express my creativity and improve my imagination.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. Since the time frame is in the past ('When I was a child'), the verb 'enjoy' should be in the past tense 'enjoyed' to maintain tense consistency.

× But however, right now I don't have much time for that so I really draw.

✓ However, right now I don't have much time for that, so I rarely draw.

Using both 'But' and 'however' together is redundant. Also, 'really draw' is incorrect; likely intended 'rarely draw' to express infrequency. The sentence needs a comma before 'so' to separate clauses.

× But in the future I will.

✓ But in the future, I will.

A comma is needed after 'future' to separate the introductory phrase. The sentence is otherwise correct.

× I hope I'll find some time to take up drawing again as relaxing hobby.

✓ I hope I'll find some time to take up drawing again as a relaxing hobby.

The phrase 'as relaxing hobby' is missing the article 'a' before 'relaxing hobby' to be grammatically correct.

× Honestly, I never been to gallery before that this year the first and last time I have gone is with my advisory students in the previous month.

✓ Honestly, I have never been to a gallery before; this year, the first and last time I went was with my advisory students in the previous month.

The sentence has tense inconsistency and article omission. 'Never been' requires 'have' to form present perfect 'have never been'. 'Gallery' needs the article 'a'. Also, 'have gone' should be 'went' to match the past time reference.

× Honestly, I never been to gallery before that this year the first and last time I have gone is with my advisory students in the previous month.

✓ Honestly, I have never been to a gallery before; this year, the first and last time I went was with my advisory students in the previous month.

The noun 'gallery' requires the indefinite article 'a' because it is singular and unspecified.

× It was really interesting exhibition for me to experience.

✓ It was a really interesting exhibition for me to experience.

The sentence is missing the article 'a' before 'really interesting exhibition'.

× With lots of arts in mini. Unique.

✓ It had lots of miniature artworks. Unique.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Arts in mini' is incorrect; 'miniature artworks' is more appropriate. The sentence needs to be restructured for clarity.

× I'm not very interested in learning more about ODD because I prefer to focus on my professional skills and the things that can improve them.

✓ I'm not very interested in learning more about art because I prefer to focus on my professional skills and the things that can improve them.

'ODD' seems to be a typo or incorrect word; likely intended 'art'. Correcting the noun clarifies the meaning.

× Therefore, I feel that my card.

✓ Therefore, I feel that my career is more important.

The sentence 'I feel that my card' is incomplete and unclear. It likely intended to say 'my career'. The sentence needs to be completed to make sense.

× Since I was a child, my mom. Prepared me for everything in life.

✓ Since I was a child, my mom prepared me for everything in life.

The period after 'mom' incorrectly breaks the sentence. 'Prepared' is correctly in past tense, but the sentence should be continuous.

× I have gone to valid, I have gone to dancing and of course drawing section.

✓ I have gone to violin, I have gone to dancing, and of course, the drawing section.

'Valid' is likely a typo for 'violin'. Also, commas are needed to separate items in the list, and 'the' is needed before 'drawing section'.

× The course was interesting and I've learned a lot of things like manufacturing thumb. Architectures.

✓ The course was interesting and I've learned a lot of things like making crafts and architecture.

'Manufacturing thumb' and 'Architectures' are incorrect phrases. Likely intended 'making crafts' and 'architecture'. The sentence needs correction for clarity and proper word choice.