Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is good but try to avoid redundancy and make it more concise. For example, you can combine similar ideas and use linking words to make your answer more natural and effective. Also, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to art.

例: Yes, I have loved drawing since childhood, which inspired me to pursue a career as a freelance artist. I recently graduated from an art university, and drawing has become an integral part of my life, leaving little room for other hobbies.

提案: Your answer is clear but can be improved by correcting minor grammar mistakes and using linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, avoid unnecessary plural forms like "gallery's" when you mean "galleries."

例: Yes, I enjoy visiting galleries frequently, especially exhibitions and openings here in Kathmandu. I usually go alone so that I can engage with the artists and fully appreciate the atmosphere and artworks.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical errors and unclear phrases. Try to speak clearly and organize your ideas logically using linking words. Also, avoid repetition and be specific about your studies.

例: Yes, I want to learn more about art, which is why I am pursuing a bachelor's degree in art at Kathmandu University. I am eager to deepen my knowledge and develop my skills to advance my career.

提案: Your answer is somewhat confusing and contains grammatical mistakes. Try to organize your response clearly, avoid repetition, and use linking words to connect ideas. Also, clarify your points with specific details.

例: No, I didn't receive formal drawing lessons as a child, but my retired artist father helped me practice by giving me exercises to improve my skills from an early age.

× I do like going to the gallery's.

✓ I do like going to the galleries.

The use of the apostrophe 's' in 'gallery's' is incorrect here because it indicates possession, not plural. The correct plural form is 'galleries' without an apostrophe.

× Yes, I will do want to learn more about art, that's why I'm pursuing it as a career and as my work.

✓ Yes, I do want to learn more about art, that's why I'm pursuing it as a career and as my work.

The phrase 'will do want' is incorrect because 'will' and 'do' are both auxiliary verbs and should not be used together in this context. The correct form is 'I do want' to express emphasis in the present tense.

× I'm starting to learn more about art sins as started joining my bachelors in Kathmandu University here in the pool, so I really want to further my studies.

✓ I'm starting to learn more about art since I started my bachelor's at Kathmandu University here in the pool, so I really want to further my studies.

The word 'sins' is a typo and should be 'since'. Also, 'started joining' is incorrect; 'since I started' is the correct past tense expression. 'My bachelors' should be 'my bachelor's' to indicate the degree.

× No, I didn't learn drawing as a kid professionally but I do. But I did sorry.

✓ No, I didn't learn drawing as a kid professionally, but I did get some help.

The sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'But I do. But I did sorry.' is incorrect. It should be combined and clarified to express that although the student didn't learn professionally, they did receive some help.

× I did get help from my dad who was an artist retired 1 so he used to come up with these exercises that would help me.

✓ I did get help from my dad who was a retired artist, so he used to come up with these exercises that would help me.

The phrase 'artist retired 1' is incorrect. The correct order is 'retired artist'. Also, 'retired' should come before 'artist' as an adjective.