Teamwork— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答が長すぎて冗長になっており、文法的な誤りもあります。質問に直接答えた後、具体的な経験を簡潔に述べるようにしましょう。

例: Yes, I like teamwork because it helps me learn cooperation. For example, when I played baseball as a child, I learned how to work well with others to achieve a common goal.

提案: 文が不完全で意味が伝わりにくいです。主語と動詞を明確にし、経験の結果や感想を具体的に述べましょう。

例: Yes, I have teamed up with others. In high school, I was the leader of the Sports Festival team. Although organizing the team was challenging, it was a memorable experience that helped me develop leadership skills.

提案: 多くの「uh」や繰り返しがあり、流暢さが欠けています。簡潔で明確な文を作り、具体的な学びを述べましょう。

例: From working in a team as a leader in high school, I learned that good communication and strong connections among members are essential for success.

提案: 内容は理解できますが、文法の誤りと表現の不自然さがあります。より自然な表現で理由と結果を明確に述べましょう。

例: I dislike closed communication in teamwork because it often leads to misunderstandings. For example, in Japan, people sometimes hesitate to speak openly, which can cause serious problems in projects.

× I played baseball and I learned a lot about the teamwork

✓ I played baseball and I learned a lot about teamwork

'Teamwork' is an uncountable noun and does not require the definite article 'the' in this context. Using 'the' implies a specific teamwork, which is not intended here.

× I have to work with my colleague and listen for my child

✓ I have to work with my colleagues and listen to my child

The preposition 'for' is incorrect after 'listen'; the correct preposition is 'to'. Also, 'colleague' should be plural 'colleagues' if referring to more than one person.

× for the makes me much more experienced about making the team work

✓ which makes me much more experienced in making teamwork

The phrase 'for the makes me' is incorrect; 'which makes me' is appropriate. Also, 'experienced about' should be 'experienced in'. 'Team work' is better written as 'teamwork'.

× I was a leader of the team of the Sports Festival

✓ I was the leader of the team of the Sports Festival

When referring to a specific position, 'the leader' is correct rather than 'a leader' if the student was the only leader. Also, 'the team of the Sports Festival' is acceptable if the team is specific.

× It was a very difficult for me to organize the team

✓ It was very difficult for me to organize the team

The article 'a' is unnecessary before 'very difficult' because 'difficult' is an adjective here, not a noun.

× and it makes me become

✓ and it made me become

The phrase 'makes me become' is awkward; 'made me become' fits better in past tense. Also, 'the' is not needed before 'makes'.

× good communication and connecting with each other is, uh, in dispensable for a good team

✓ good communication and connecting with each other are indispensable for a good team

The verb should agree with the compound subject 'good communication and connecting', so 'are' is correct. Also, 'indispensable' is one word.

× and this experience made me understand that

✓ and this experience made me understand that

No correction needed here; sentence is correct.

× I don't like a closed communication

✓ I don't like closed communication

'Communication' is uncountable, so 'a' should be omitted.

× Many Japanese people are not good at open communication

✓ Many Japanese people are not good at open communication

Sentence is correct; no article needed before 'open communication'.

× so this will be the cause of the miscommunication and sometimes very big accident and events occurs

✓ so this will be the cause of miscommunication and sometimes very big accidents and events occur

'Miscommunication' is uncountable and does not need 'the'. 'Accident' should be plural 'accidents' to match 'events'. The verb 'occurs' should be plural 'occur' to agree with plural subject 'accidents and events'.