Teacher— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid hesitation. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Remove repeated ideas (humorous/fun) and correct minor grammar (e.g., “maths” or “math” consistently, and “uses a humorous method” → “uses humorous methods”).

例: My favourite teacher is my maths teacher because he is strict yet entertaining. For example, he uses games and puzzles to explain problem-solving, which helps us understand concepts faster and remember them better.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and more natural past/perfect tense. Avoid wordiness and give one brief reason with a linking word. Replace “since I get into” with “since I started secondary school” and use ‘gradually’ instead of ‘slowly’ for smoother phrasing.

例: No, I’m not. Since I started secondary school I’ve been very busy with my studies, and she has been occupied with work, so we gradually lost contact.

提案: Give a clear, grammatical topic sentence and one specific example of a method. Avoid grammatical errors and incomplete sentences. Use a linking phrase like “for example” and explain the result of the method (e.g., improved speed or confidence).

例: He helped me by teaching problem-solving strategies that make difficult questions simpler. For example, he showed us step-by-step shortcuts and visual tricks, so I can solve problems more quickly and with greater confidence.

提案: Start with a direct answer and give a clear reason using linking words. Eliminate hesitation and repetition (“I I”) and correct grammar (e.g., “I’m more of a tech person” and “study technological problems” → “work on technology” or “study computer science”).

例: Probably not. Although teaching sounds enjoyable because I would interact with children, I’m more of a tech person and I want to work with computers and study computer science in the future.

× He is strict with our studies, but he uses a humorous uh, method.

✓ He is strict about our studies, but he uses a humorous method.

Use 'strict about' rather than 'strict with' to describe attitude toward studies; remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary comma. 'Humorous method' is the correct adjective+noun order.

× Uh, he is humorous and uses fun methods to teach us math how to solve math problems.

✓ He is humorous and uses fun methods to teach us how to solve math problems.

Remove filler 'Uh' and correct word order: 'teach us how to solve math problems' is the standard structure. No extra 'math' before 'how' is needed.

× No, we are no longer in touch now because since I get into secondary school I've been busy with my studies and also she might be busy with her work so we slowly lost contact.

✓ No, we are no longer in touch because since I entered secondary school I've been busy with my studies, and she may have been busy with her work, so we gradually lost contact.

Mixing tenses and incorrect verb forms: use past 'entered' or present perfect 'since I entered'/'since I got into' plus present perfect 'I've been busy'. 'Might be busy' should be 'may have been busy' to indicate past ongoing reason. 'Slowly lost contact' is better as 'gradually lost contact'. Keep consistent aspect for events continuing from past to present.

× My maths teacher uses fun methods to teach us how to solve math problems efficiently and accurately.

✓ My math teacher uses fun methods to teach us how to solve math problems efficiently and accurately.

'Maths' vs 'math' is a regional spelling issue rather than grammar; choose one consistently. No tense error; minor consistency suggestion: use 'math' throughout. Sentence is otherwise correct.

× And these methods are makes those difficult problems into a in to.

✓ These methods make those difficult problems easier to solve.

Original has ungrammatical structure: 'are makes' mixes auxiliary and main verb; 'into a in to' is nonsensical. Use simple subject+verb+object: 'methods make problems easier to solve' expresses intended meaning clearly.

× No, probably not. Although it will be fun to be a teacher because I I could interact with children every day.

✓ No, probably not. Although it would be fun to be a teacher because I could interact with children every day.

Use conditional 'would' to express a hypothetical future enjoyment. Remove repeated 'I'. 'Could' is appropriate for ability in that hypothetical context.

× But I'm more a tech person and I want to work with computers and start study technological problems in the future.

✓ But I'm more of a tech person, and I want to work with computers and study technological problems in the future.

Use 'more of a' to link noun phrase correctly. 'Start study' is incorrect; use 'study' or 'start studying'. Maintain parallel verb forms: 'want to work... and study...'.