Teacher— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevabınızda daha doğal ve akıcı ifadeler kullanmalısınız. Gereksiz tekrar ve dolgu kelimelerden kaçının. Soruyu doğrudan yanıtlayarak, favori öğretmeniniz hakkında net ve spesifik bilgiler verin. Ayrıca, cümlenizi 5 cümleyi geçmeyecek şekilde tutun ve bağlaçlar kullanarak cümlelerinizi birbirine bağlayın.

例: Yes, I do have a favourite teacher from my bachelor's degree. She guided us through a memorable group project. Her support greatly benefited my learning experience. I still remember her kindness and dedication. She made studying enjoyable and effective.

提案: Cevabınızı daha net ve akıcı yapmalısınız. Gereksiz tekrarları ve dolgu kelimeleri azaltın. Soruyu doğrudan yanıtlayın ve neden iletişimde olmadığınızı açıkça belirtin. Ayrıca, cümlelerinizi bağlaçlarla birbirine bağlayarak daha tutarlı hale getirin.

例: No, I am not still in touch with my primary school teacher. Unfortunately, I have lost contact with her and I don't even remember her name. However, I remember she was very kind and open-minded. It is a pity that we cannot communicate anymore.

提案: Cevabınızı daha açık ve spesifik yapmalısınız. Öğretmeninizin size nasıl yardımcı olduğunu net bir şekilde açıklayın. Bağlaçlar kullanarak cümlelerinizi birbirine bağlayın ve gereksiz dolgu kelimelerden kaçının.

例: My favourite teacher helped me by creating a relaxed learning environment. She encouraged us to share our views during the learning process, which made it more effective. This approach helped students connect better and understand the material deeply.

提案: Cevabınızı daha net ve akıcı yapmalısınız. Gelecekte öğretmen olmak isteyip istemediğinizi doğrudan belirtin ve nedenlerinizi açıkça ifade edin. Gereksiz tekrar ve dolgu kelimelerden kaçının ve cümlelerinizi bağlaçlarla birbirine bağlayın.

例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher in the future, specifically an academician. I enjoy doing scientific research and want to work closely with university students. Additionally, I am interested in managing projects and contributing to the academic community.

× I have a favorite feature from, umm, bachelor's degree, uh, we conduct, uh, with uh, a project, uh, we collaborated with uh, uh, group and it's very, uh, memorable.

✓ I have a favorite teacher from, umm, my bachelor's degree. We conducted a project and collaborated with a group, and it was very memorable.

The word 'feature' is incorrect; it should be 'teacher' to match the context. Also, 'group' should be preceded by an article 'a' to indicate singular. The sentence structure was fragmented and needed to be combined for clarity.

× It, it was very memorable times and she benefit, uh.

✓ Those were very memorable times and she benefited a lot.

The verb 'benefit' should be in the past tense 'benefited' to agree with the past context. Also, 'times' should be preceded by 'those' to specify the memorable times.

× No, uh, I'm not uh, it's unfortunately, uh, we, we, we cannot do it.

✓ No, unfortunately, we cannot do it.

The phrase 'I'm not' is incomplete and unnecessary here. The sentence should be concise and use present tense 'cannot' to express inability currently.

× And I didn't, I didn't remember, uh, her name and she is very kind.

✓ And I don't remember her name, but she was very kind.

The verb 'didn't remember' is better expressed as 'don't remember' if the memory is still absent. Also, 'she is' should be 'she was' to maintain past tense consistency.

× She was very kind and open minded person.

✓ She was a very kind and open-minded person.

The sentence is missing the article 'a' before 'very kind'. Also, 'open minded' should be hyphenated as 'open-minded' when used as an adjective.

× They have many, uh, ways to allow uh, students, uh, but uh, relaxing and uh, what can I say, uh, having a view, uh, for learning process, it's very, uh, effective to, uh, connect people.

✓ They have many ways to help students relax and, what can I say, to have a perspective on the learning process. It's very effective to connect people.

The phrase 'allow students' is unclear; 'help students relax' is more appropriate. 'Having a view for learning process' is awkward; 'to have a perspective on the learning process' is clearer. Also, 'learning process' needs the article 'the'.

× Yes, uh, partly, uh, I can say I want to be an academician.

✓ Yes, partly, I can say I want to be an academician.

The sentence is acceptable but removing unnecessary fillers improves clarity. 'Academician' is a formal term for a university teacher or researcher.

× Uh, but uh, I want to doing science and I want to connect with, uh, university students, but, uh, manage a, a project and, uh, doing.

✓ But I want to do science and connect with university students, manage a project, and do research.

The verb 'want to doing' is incorrect; it should be 'want to do'. The phrase 'doing' at the end is incomplete; specifying 'do research' clarifies the meaning.