Teacher— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat natural but contains grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to form complete sentences and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, instead of 'He is so he has so much patience,' say 'He is very patient and always smiles at us.'

例: Yes, I have a favourite teacher from my senior school. He is very patient and never blames us when we make mistakes. Moreover, he always smiles, which makes the classroom atmosphere friendly and supportive.

提案: Your answer conveys the message but is slightly repetitive and contains awkward phrasing. Try to be more concise and use linking words to improve coherence. For example, instead of repeating 'pity,' say 'Unfortunately, I am not in touch with my primary school teacher because she passed away a few years ago, which makes me feel very sad.'

例: Unfortunately, I am not in touch with my primary school teacher because she passed away a few years ago, which makes me feel very sad.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions. Make sure to use correct pronouns and verb forms. Also, explain clearly how the teacher helped you, using linking words to connect ideas. For example, 'She was very kind and patient. Moreover, she taught me to respect others by setting a good example, rather than just telling us the school rules.'

例: She was very kind and patient. Moreover, she taught me to respect others by setting a good example, rather than just telling us the school rules. I still take her as a role model.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be more fluent and grammatically correct. Avoid sentence fragments and use linking words to connect ideas. For example, 'Yes, absolutely. I want to be a teacher like my favourite teacher because I want to influence young learners, not only by teaching them knowledge but also by helping them become better people.'

例: Yes, absolutely. I want to be a teacher like my favourite teacher because I want to influence young learners, not only by teaching them knowledge but also by helping them become better people.

× He never blames us when we do wrong things, make mistakes.

✓ He never blames us when we do wrong things or make mistakes.

The original sentence lacks a conjunction between 'do wrong things' and 'make mistakes', which causes a sentence structure error. Adding 'or' correctly connects the two actions, improving clarity and grammatical correctness.

× He is so he has so much patience. Always smile to us.

✓ He is so patient. He always smiles at us.

The phrase 'He is so he has so much patience' is ungrammatical and unclear. 'So patient' is the correct adjective form. Also, 'Always smile to us' lacks a subject and uses incorrect verb form and preposition. Correct form is 'He always smiles at us.'

× Well, it's a pity and that we are not in touch with each other because my primary school teacher passed away a few years ago, which makes me feel so sorrowful.

✓ Well, it's a pity that we are not in touch with each other because my primary school teacher passed away a few years ago, which makes me feel very sorrowful.

The phrase 'it's a pity and that' is incorrect; 'and' should be removed to form 'it's a pity that'. Also, 'so sorrowful' is less natural than 'very sorrowful' in this context.

× She is such nice and patient.

✓ She is so nice and patient.

The phrase 'such nice and patient' is incorrect because 'such' is used before a noun or noun phrase. Here, 'so' is the correct adverb to modify adjectives 'nice' and 'patient'.

× Umm he took me to respect others by showing how she really do it, not just to tell us the school roles.

✓ Umm, he taught me to respect others by showing how she really does it, not just by telling us the school rules.

The verb 'do' should be 'does' to agree with the singular subject 'she'. Also, 'took me to respect' is incorrect; 'taught me to respect' is appropriate. 'Roles' should be 'rules' in this context.

× I take her as an example.

✓ I take her as an example.

This sentence is grammatically correct and requires no correction.

× Yes, absolutely. I want to be a teacher like my favorite teacher to influence.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I want to be a teacher like my favourite teacher to influence others.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'to influence' which is incomplete. Adding 'others' completes the thought and improves sentence structure.

× To influence the young learners, not just teaching them knowledge but also help them to be a better person in their life.

✓ I want to influence young learners, not just by teaching them knowledge but also by helping them to be better people in their lives.

The original sentence is a fragment and lacks a main verb. Rewriting it as a complete sentence with proper parallel structure and verb forms improves clarity and correctness.