Perfume— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and avoid confusing metaphors. Use one or two supporting reasons with linking words. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I wear perfume almost every day because it makes me feel more confident and boosts my mood. For example, a light floral scent helps me feel fresh when I go to work or meet friends.

提案: Clarify frequency and reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and fix awkward phrasing. Provide a concise topic sentence then one specific example or reason.

例: I often wear perfume, but not every day. If I'm just stepping out for a quick meal nearby, I usually skip it because I don't feel it's necessary.

提案: Answer directly, use correct modal verbs and smoother phrasing. Give one reason and, if possible, an alternative gift choice to enrich the response. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so'.

例: I probably wouldn't buy perfume as a gift because fragrance preferences are very personal and hard to predict. Instead, I would choose a gift card or a neutral item like a scented candle that is safer.

提案: Make your viewpoint clearer and correct collocations. Use linking words to show contrast and give a specific example (brand, price or longevity) to support your claim. Avoid vague phrases.

例: It depends on the brand and ingredients. Although high-end perfumes can be costly, they often last longer and require only small amounts, so in the long run they can be value for money—for example, a 50ml bottle can last several months.

× I like perfume and I use it daily because it make me more confident and it's for me.

✓ I like perfume and I use it daily because it makes me more confident and it suits me.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'it'. Also 'it's for me' is awkward; use 'it suits me' for natural English. Grammar problem type ID:27

× I think it's like such a other office that I always put on when I go out.

✓ I think it's like another kind of accessory that I always put on when I go out.

Incorrect phrase 'such a other office' is ungrammatical and uses wrong words. 'Another' not 'a other', and 'office' is wrong word; 'accessory' fits context. Use 'kind of' to clarify comparison. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I often use perfume in my daily life but I would say it is not everyday because sometimes I just go out like a quick for a quick meal like restaurant near my house.

✓ I often use perfume in my daily life but I would say not every day because sometimes I just go out for a quick meal at a restaurant near my house.

Errors: 'everyday' (adjective) vs 'every day' (adverbial phrase) — use 'every day'. 'like a quick for a quick meal like restaurant' is repetitive and incorrect preposition use; use 'for a quick meal at a restaurant'. Grammar problem type ID:20

× So it I think it not just necessary to put on perfume like to go.

✓ So I think it is not always necessary to put on perfume just to go out.

Multiple issues: word order and missing auxiliary 'is'. 'not just necessary' is awkward; 'not always necessary' is clearer. Add 'to go out' to complete the idea. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I won't because I think it hard to select the sense of fragrance that that person like because it's kind of personal preference for the sense.

✓ I wouldn't because I think it's hard to choose a fragrance that the person likes, since scent is a personal preference.

Modal verb: 'I won't' (refusal) is less appropriate than 'I wouldn't' for a hypothetical preference. 'hard to select the sense of fragrance' should be 'hard to choose a fragrance'. Fix pronoun repetition 'that that' and verb agreement 'person like' -> 'person likes'. Grammar problem type ID:4

× So if I buy for someone else, I'm not sure that.

✓ So if I buy for someone else, I'm not sure it will suit them.

Sentence ends unclearly: 'I'm not sure that' is a fragment. Provide an object and clarify pronoun: 'it will suit them' or 'they will like it'. Grammar problem type ID:23

× I think it depends on branding, but actually I think the expensive perfume followed by the high quality.

✓ I think it depends on the brand, but actually I think expensive perfumes tend to be higher quality.

Use 'brand' not 'branding' here. 'the expensive perfume followed by the high quality' is incorrect structure; use 'expensive perfumes tend to be higher quality'. Also plural agreement with 'perfumes'. Grammar problem type ID:11

× So I think it is not expensive because it can use for a long term like one perfume bottle I can wear.

✓ So I don't think they are expensive because they last a long time; one bottle can be used for a long time.

Issues: pronoun/verb agreement ('it can use' incorrect — passive/active confusion), singular/plural mismatch ('perfume' vs 'they'), awkward phrase 'for a long term' -> 'for a long time' or 'last a long time'. Rephrase for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:1