Cakes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundant phrases and grammatical errors (e.g., use present simple: 'helps', and 'when I have period cramps'). Also limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I really enjoy sweet foods, especially cakes. In summer I often choose ice cream, and when I have period cramps I eat dark chocolate because it helps boost my energy. I also like keeping a small bar of dark chocolate in my bag for emergencies.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. If you don't know, say so briefly, then add relevant personal preference or one example. Use correct grammar and linking words (e.g., 'However' or 'But'). Avoid vague phrases like 'a lot'.

例: I’m not very familiar with traditional Chinese cakes. However, I prefer homemade cakes—for example, ones made with strawberries or chocolate—because they taste fresher and are less sweet than many shop-bought varieties.

提案: Be natural and concise: give a clear statement about ability, then one or two specifics (how often, what types, why). Use correct tenses (present simple for general ability) and clearer linking words ('so', 'because'). Avoid awkward phrases like 'perfect on'.

例: Yes, I can bake cakes. I often make chocolate or strawberry cakes at home, and I usually bake for friends’ birthdays because they enjoy homemade desserts.

提案: Give a focused, cohesive answer: state your childhood habit, give one specific example, use past tense correctly, and then make a brief comparison to now. Avoid repetition of 'used to' too many times.

例: Yes, I loved cakes as a child. I remember sneaking pieces from my parents’ fridge when I was alone, which felt thrilling. I still enjoy cakes now, though I eat them less often.

提案: Be specific and fluent: state a clear opinion, then provide one or two concrete examples and reasons. Avoid filler words ('uh') and unclear phrases ('strawberries with coarse'). Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'strawberries with cream', 'chocolate with raspberries').

例: Yes, I often have a small dessert after meals because it makes me feel satisfied and gives me a little energy. For example, I like strawberries with cream or a small piece of chocolate with raspberries.

× Usually I like to eat cakes very much.

✓ I usually like to eat cakes very much.

Adverb placement: 'usually' should come before the main verb in simple present sentences. Placing the adverb at the beginning is acceptable but moving it before 'like' is more natural.

× Apart from cakes, I love ice cream in summer season and also I love to eat a lot of candies when I'm feeling low in my period cramps.

✓ Apart from cakes, I love ice cream in the summer, and I also like to eat a lot of candy when I'm feeling low because of period cramps.

Use of articles and prepositions: 'in summer season' should be 'in the summer' or simply 'in summer'. 'A lot of candies' is better as 'a lot of candy' (uncountable) in this context. Also clarify cause: 'when I'm feeling low in my period cramps' is awkward; use 'because of period cramps' or 'when I have period cramps.'

× Also dark chocolate help me to boost my energy so I always carry dark chocolate in my pockets.

✓ Also dark chocolate helps me boost my energy, so I always carry dark chocolate in my pocket.

Subject-verb agreement: singular subject 'dark chocolate' requires singular verb 'helps'. 'Help me to boost' is acceptable but 'helps me boost' is more natural. 'In my pockets' should be 'in my pocket' unless carrying multiple pockets; 'in my pocket' is idiomatic.

× Will I am not actually aware of all the Chinese cakes which are traditional too?

✓ Well, I am not actually aware of all the traditional Chinese cakes.

Sentence structure and word choice: 'Will' is incorrect here; use 'Well' as a filler. Word order 'all the Chinese cakes which are traditional too' is awkward—'all the traditional Chinese cakes' is concise and natural.

× I just know that I always love to eat cakes that are homemade which is made-up of of wheat chocolates, strawberry fruits and a lot.

✓ I just know that I always love to eat homemade cakes made from wheat, chocolate, strawberries, and more.

Adjective order and noun forms: 'homemade cakes' is correct. 'Made-up of of' is incorrect; use 'made from' or 'made of'. 'Wheat chocolates' and 'strawberry fruits' are incorrect collocations—use 'wheat', 'chocolate', 'strawberries'. Avoid vague 'a lot'; use 'and more' if unspecified.

× I always prefer such cakes rather than any traditional Chinese cake.

✓ I always prefer such cakes to traditional Chinese cakes.

Preposition for preference: use 'prefer A to B', not 'prefer A rather than B'. Also keep plural agreement consistent: 'traditional Chinese cakes'.

× Yes, I am perfect on making cakes because when I am alone at my home then at that time I used to make a lot of cakes using ingredients like chocolate, strawberries and a lot and when there is a birthday of my any special one I used to bake cake for them.

✓ Yes, I am good at making cakes because when I am at home alone, I often make many cakes using ingredients like chocolate and strawberries, and when it is a special someone's birthday I bake a cake for them.

Prepositions and collocations: 'perfect on' is wrong; use 'good at'. Word order 'alone at my home' -> 'at home alone'. 'Used to' implies past habit; the speaker seems to describe current habit so use 'often' or 'usually'. 'A lot' is vague and redundant; use 'many'. 'When there is a birthday of my any special one' is ungrammatical—use 'when it is a special someone's birthday'.

× They get happy by seeing.

✓ They are happy when they see it.

Sentence structure: 'They get happy by seeing' is incomplete and awkward. Use 'They are happy when they see it' to express the reaction.

× Yes, when I was child I used to prefer cake a lot.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I used to like cake a lot.

Article missing: 'a child' required. Collocation: 'prefer cake a lot' is odd; 'like cake a lot' fits better with 'used to' describing past habit.

× Even when I was alone at home during my childhood days I used to go to my parents home and I used to steal cake and eat and enjoyed a lot.

✓ Even when I was home alone during my childhood, I used to go to my parents' home and steal cake to eat, and I enjoyed it a lot.

Prepositions and possessive: 'parents home' should be 'parents' home' (possessive). Parallel verb forms: use 'steal cake to eat' or 'steal cakes and eat them'. 'Used to steal... and enjoyed' mixes past forms—use consistent past tense 'used to... and enjoyed'.

× So I used to like and still I am liking it.

✓ So I used to like it, and I still like it now.

Present tense and idiom: 'I am liking it' is incorrect; stative verbs like 'like' use simple present: 'I still like it'. Combine past habit 'used to like' with present 'I still like it'.

× Yes, I love to have desserts after meals because these desserts boost my energy and it also makes me feel pleasant to eat the desert because the desserts like uh, strawberries with coarse and fruits with coarse and chocolate with Raspberry boost.

✓ Yes, I love to have desserts after meals because dessert boosts my energy and makes me feel good; desserts like strawberries with cream, fruit with cream, and chocolate with raspberry are uplifting.

Word choice and spelling: 'dessert' is singular/uncountable when speaking generally. 'Pleasant to eat the desert' confused 'dessert' and 'desert'—use 'feel good'. 'Coarse' is incorrect; likely 'cream'. Capitalization: 'Raspberry' not needed. Use parallel noun phrases and correct prepositions.