Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer has some grammatical errors and unclear phrases like "spin my bread to quietly" and "having a loud message" which confuse the meaning. Try to use clear and natural expressions. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: On my birthday, I usually prefer to spend the day quietly rather than having a big party. I like to buy myself a nice dress and enjoy my favorite meal. It is a special day for me to relax and spend time with a few close family members.

提案: Your answer has good content but some grammatical mistakes like "My father would be delicious cakes" and missing linking words. Use correct verb forms and add linking words to make your answer coherent. Also, try to be more specific about the activities.

例: When I was young, we used to have big birthday parties at home. My father would bake delicious cakes and decorate the house with colorful balloons. Many of my friends and relatives would come, and we all enjoyed dancing and playing games together.

提案: Your answer is relevant and mostly clear but contains some errors like "love for the parties" and "fi small intimate gathering". Try to use correct prepositions and avoid typos. Use linking words like "however" and "now" effectively to show contrast and time changes.

例: I think it depends on the person. For me, I don't enjoy celebrating my birthday these days because I prefer to spend it quietly and alone. However, when I was a child, I loved parties and celebrating with my family and friends. Now, I feel more comfortable having a small intimate gathering with just a few people.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. You should complete your sentence and explain why the first birthday is important in China. Use linking words and provide specific cultural details to enrich your answer.

例: In China, the most important birthday to celebrate is typically the first birthday of a child. This milestone, known as the "Zhuazhou" ceremony, is significant because it symbolizes the child's growth and future. Families celebrate with special rituals and gatherings.

× I usually prefer to spin my bread to quietly rather than having a loud message or a big party.

✓ I usually prefer to spend my birthday quietly rather than having a loud message or a big party.

The adverb 'quietly' is incorrectly placed after 'to'. It should be placed after the verb phrase 'spend my birthday' to correctly modify the action. Also, 'spin my bread' seems to be a mishearing or typo; 'spend my birthday' is the correct phrase.

× I like to buy myself a nice dress with my favorite meal.

✓ I like to buy myself a nice dress and my favorite meal.

The preposition 'with' is incorrectly used here to connect two objects. 'And' is the correct conjunction to list two things the speaker likes to buy.

× Actually, it's a special day for me to relax and enjoy time with a few close family members.

✓ Actually, it's a special day for me to relax and enjoy time with a few close family members.

This sentence is correct as is; no preposition error detected.

× My father would be delicious cakes and pre decorated the house with colorful balloons and played lively music.

✓ My father would bake delicious cakes, pre-decorate the house with colorful balloons, and play lively music.

The phrase 'would be delicious cakes' is incorrect; 'would bake delicious cakes' correctly uses the modal verb 'would' with the base verb 'bake'. Also, 'pre decorated' should be hyphenated as 'pre-decorate' and parallel verb forms should be used.

× However, when I was a child I used to love for the parties and celebrating with my family and friends.

✓ However, when I was a child I used to love the parties and celebrating with my family and friends.

The preposition 'for' is incorrectly used after 'love'. The verb 'love' is directly followed by the object without a preposition.

× Now I feel more comfortable having a fi small intimate gathering with just a few.

✓ Now I feel more comfortable having a small intimate gathering with just a few people.

The phrase 'a fi small' seems to be a typo; 'a small' is correct. Also, 'a few' should be followed by a noun like 'people' to complete the phrase.

× I think in China the most important birthday to celebrate is typically the 1st birthday of a child. This milestone known as. Tel.

✓ I think in China the most important birthday to celebrate is typically the first birthday of a child. This milestone is known as 'Tel'.

The sentence 'This milestone known as. Tel.' is incomplete and lacks a verb. Adding 'is' completes the sentence. Also, '1st' should be written as 'first' in formal speech.