Birthday— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答时语法和表达不够准确，句子结构较为混乱，建议简化句子结构，避免重复，并使用更自然的表达方式。

例: I usually celebrate my birthday at home with my parents and some friends. They bring a birthday cake, and we have dinner together, including traditional Chinese long life noodles.

提案: 时态使用不准确，表达不够流畅，建议注意时态一致性，并使用更自然的表达方式。

例: When I was little, I spent my birthdays with my parents. They bought a birthday cake, and I made a wish before blowing out the candles.

提案: 表达不够清晰，句子结构混乱，建议简化句子，明确表达观点，并使用连接词使句子更连贯。

例: I think celebrating birthdays is important because it reminds us to cherish life and the happiness it brings. It helps us appreciate the time we have.

提案: 内容不准确且表达混乱，建议先确认事实，避免错误信息，并用简洁明了的句子表达观点。

例: In China, the most important birthday to celebrate might be that of Sun Yat-sen, who was the founder of the Republic of China and led the revolution to overthrow the Qing dynasty.

× I usually spend most of the birthday parties with my parents or some of my friends.

✓ I usually spend most birthday parties with my parents or some of my friends.

这里的“most of the birthday parties”使用了定冠词“the”，但在表达“多数生日派对”时，应该用复数名词“birthday parties”而不加定冠词。去掉“the”更符合习惯用法。

× They join the party in my home and they will buy a birthday cake for me, will just have some dinner and some like Long live noodles in the Chinese tradition, yeah.

✓ They join the party at my home and they will buy a birthday cake for me, will just have some dinner and some long live noodles in the Chinese tradition, yeah.

“join the party in my home”中的介词应为“at”表示地点。并且“Long live noodles”应小写，且句子结构不完整，建议调整。

× When I was little on my birthday, I really spend time with my parents and they just bought their birthday cakes and let me just make wishes and then I just blow up the candles and wishing that for coming true.

✓ When I was little on my birthday, I really spent time with my parents and they just bought birthday cakes and let me make wishes and then I blew out the candles wishing for them to come true.

描述过去的动作时，动词应使用过去式，如“spend”应为“spent”，“blow up the candles”应为“blew out the candles”。此外，“wishing that for coming true”表达不准确，应为“wishing for them to come true”。

× they just bought their birthday cakes

✓ they just bought birthday cakes

这里的“their birthday cakes”暗示是他们自己的生日蛋糕，但实际上应指“生日蛋糕”，不需要所有格，直接用复数名词即可。

× What I think is an important activity in a person's life because everyone we have to face death and one day.

✓ What I think is an important activity in a person's life because everyone has to face death one day.

“everyone we have to face death and one day”结构不正确，应为“everyone has to face death one day”，主语和谓语不一致，且“and one day”应改为“one day”。

× everyone we have to face death and one day.

✓ everyone has to face death one day.

“everyone we have to face death and one day”中“we”多余且导致句子不通顺，应删除。

× it's just important for us to cherish our living moment and since it could be like cherish those happiness of life, it brings to us and it's quite meaningful.

✓ it's just important for us to cherish our living moments and cherish the happiness that life brings to us; it's quite meaningful.

“living moment”应为复数“living moments”，“since it could be like cherish those happiness”表达不清且语法错误，应简化为“cherish the happiness that life brings to us”。

× cherish those happiness of life

✓ cherish the happiness of life

“happiness”是不可数名词，不能用复数形式“those happiness”，应使用“the happiness”。

× he was the founder of the Republic of China and leading the revolution against the latest Qin Emperor emperor

✓ he was the founder of the Republic of China and led the revolution against the last Qin emperor

“latest Qin Emperor emperor”重复且用词错误，应为“last Qin emperor”。

× he was the founder of the Republic of China and leading the revolution against the latest Qin Emperor emperor

✓ he was the founder of the Republic of China and led the revolution against the last Qin emperor

“leading”应改为过去式“led”，因为描述的是过去发生的事情。

× which is like bullying the people in China.

✓ who was bullying the people in China.

“which”用于指物，指人时应使用“who”；“like”在此处多余，应删除。

× And I think he also ended, you know, the China and Japanese war with the fastest region.

✓ And I think he also ended, you know, the China-Japan war with the fastest resolution.

“the China and Japanese war”应为“the China-Japan war”；“fastest region”应为“fastest resolution”，原句中“region”用词错误。