Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition (‘at first time’ twice) and use correct tense and articles. Use a linking word when adding the detail.

例: I started using the internet when I was in primary school. At first, I found it very interesting but a little difficult to use, so I asked my older sister to show me how to search for information.

提案: Begin with a direct frequency statement, then add one specific example with a linking word to explain why. Use articles correctly (‘the Internet’) and avoid overly general comments.

例: I go online almost every day. For example, I use the Internet to research study topics and to message friends, which makes daily tasks much easier.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about the incident, then explain the reason with accurate grammar and a linking word. Use a specific time reference and clearer wording (e.g. ‘my grades dropped’).

例: Yes. When I was 16, my parents banned me from using the Internet for a month because my grades dropped, so they wanted me to focus on studying instead of using social media.

提案: Answer directly, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Use correct tense and avoid vague phrases like ‘many downsides’; specify what those are (e.g. negative news, distractions).

例: Yes, sometimes I spend too much time online, which leaves me exhausted because I often read negative news and get distracted by social media notifications.

提案: Start with a clear stance, then offer a specific alternative activity and a reason. Avoid absolute statements; be natural and provide one concrete example of what you would do instead.

例: I would find other ways to stay informed and entertained. For instance, I would read more books and meet friends in person because those activities help me relax and learn without using the Internet.

× I started to use the Internet since I was in primary school.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was in primary school.

Use of 'start' is commonly followed by the -ing form (starting + -ing). Also 'since' indicates a point in time and pairs with present perfect; here 'when' is appropriate for a past simple narrative. Replace 'to use' with 'using' and 'since' with 'when' for natural past-tense narration.

× At first time I used it, I found it very interesting and it was some kind of difficult at the first time.

✓ The first time I used it, I found it very interesting, although it was a bit difficult at first.

Use 'The first time' rather than 'At first time'. Avoid repeating 'at the first time'. Combine clauses smoothly and use 'a bit difficult' or 'somewhat difficult' for natural phrasing. This fixes word order and redundancy.

× I use Internet almost every day to look for information and communicate with my friends.

✓ I use the Internet almost every day to look for information and communicate with my friends.

English normally requires the definite article 'the' before 'Internet'. Adding 'the' makes the noun phrase grammatically correct.

× I think Internet is very useful for our modern society.

✓ I think the Internet is very useful for our modern society.

Same issue: 'the Internet' requires the definite article. Include 'the' to make the noun phrase correct.

× Yes, there was one time my parents didn't allow me to use the Internet because my academic performance was dropped from before, so they tend to push me to study instead of playing social media.

✓ Yes, there was one time when my parents didn't allow me to use the Internet because my academic performance had dropped compared with before, so they tended to push me to study instead of using social media.

Add 'when' after 'one time' for correct clause introduction. Use past perfect 'had dropped' to show the decline occurred before their decision. 'Tend' should be past 'tended' to match past context. Use 'using social media' rather than 'playing social media' and say 'compared with before' or 'compared with earlier' for clarity.

× Yes, sometimes I feel that I was on the Internet for too long and it made me feel exhausted because many things on Internet had many downsides.

✓ Yes, sometimes I feel that I am on the Internet for too long and it makes me feel exhausted because many things on the Internet have many downsides.

The question asks about habitual/recurring feelings, so present simple is appropriate: 'I feel' and 'I am (on the Internet) for too long' and 'it makes me' rather than past tense. Also use 'on the Internet' with 'the' and 'have' instead of 'had' when describing general truths. Avoid repeating 'many'.

× For example, I saw many bad news.

✓ For example, I saw a lot of bad news.

'News' is an uncountable noun, so use 'a lot of' or 'much' rather than 'many'. 'Many bad news' is incorrect. Using 'a lot of bad news' is natural in spoken English.

× I think I cannot leave without Internet.

✓ I think I cannot live without the Internet.

Likely intended verb is 'live' not 'leave'. Also include 'the' before 'Internet'. The modal 'cannot' is fine; correct the verb and article for meaning and grammar.

× I mean that Internet is the one of essential factor in our daily lives.

✓ I mean that the Internet is one of the essential factors in our daily lives.

Include 'the' before 'Internet'. Use 'one of the' plus plural 'essential factors'. 'The one of essential factor' is ungrammatical; restructure to 'one of the essential factors'.

× Modern society cannot live without Internet.

✓ Modern society cannot live without the Internet.

'The Internet' requires the definite article. Add 'the' to make the sentence grammatically correct and natural.