Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence stating when you began using the internet, avoid fillers (umm, so) and repetition, and add one specific supporting detail (what you used it for). Keep answers under five sentences.

例: I first started using the internet in fourth grade. Back then I used it mainly for school research and early educational games, which helped me find information for class projects.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear frequency (daily/weekly), then explain main reasons using linking words (for example, mainly for…). Reduce hesitations and correct word choice (use 'main' not 'mean'). Use one or two specific examples of online tasks.

例: I go online several times a day, mainly for study and communication. For example, I use the internet every day to check university emails, work on presentation slides, and video-call my family.

提案: Be specific and balanced: state when and why you were restricted, and give a concrete reason or example of the risks your parents worried about. Use linking words (however, because) and avoid repeated hesitations.

例: Yes. When I was about eight years old my parents did not allow me to use the internet unsupervised because they worried about harmful content and online strangers. Therefore I could only go online with an adult present for school work.

提案: Answer directly and quantify if possible: give a clear yes/no, then support with specific amounts of time and activities. Replace vague phrases (doom scrolling) with clearer ones and avoid repetition. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I don't think I spend too much time online. I usually use the internet for study and family calls, about one to two hours on weekdays, and occasionally 10–15 minutes browsing social media at weekends.

提案: Provide a clear opening sentence describing activities you would do offline, then give two specific examples and briefly explain why you enjoy them. Remove fillers and repetition to sound natural and confident.

例: If I couldn't use the internet, I would spend my free time doing sports and creative hobbies. For example, I would play badminton with my brother to stay active, and I would draw because it helps me relax and develop my creativity.

× I have been using Internet for so many years for my study purposes.

✓ I have been using the Internet for many years for my study purposes.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'Internet'. Use 'the Internet' as a specific, unique system. Also 'so many years' is informal; 'many years' is more natural here.

× I remember when I was in fourth or fifth grade, I think that would be the first time when I start using the Internet for for my, umm, for my study purposes when I was in school.

✓ I remember when I was in fourth or fifth grade; I think that was the first time I started using the Internet for my study purposes at school.

This sentence mixes tenses: 'would be' and 'start' are incorrect for a past reference. Use past tense 'was' and 'started' to describe a past event. Remove duplicated 'for' and simplify phrasing.

× I don't use Internet so much.

✓ I don't use the Internet very much.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'Internet'. Also 'so much' is colloquial; 'very much' or 'that often' is more natural in this context.

× I just use it for mean purposes, like if I need to talk to my family, that's time I use Internet.

✓ I just use it for main purposes; for example, if I need to talk to my family, I use the Internet then.

'mean purposes' is a word choice error; 'main purposes' is correct. Sentence structure is awkward — rephrase to clarify timing and add 'the' before 'Internet'.

× And if I need to study, if I have to work for actually I'm a university student, so I have to do my work online like everything.

✓ If I need to study or work, since I'm a university student, I have to do almost everything online.

Run-on sentence and awkward insertion 'for actually'. Reorganize: state role ('I'm a university student') and then consequence ('I have to do almost everything online'). Use 'almost everything' rather than 'like everything' for clarity.

× So whenever I'm working on my slides, presentation project, so I I that often I use Internet.

✓ So whenever I'm working on my slides or presentation projects, I often use the Internet.

Redundant 'so' and repetition 'I I that often'. Need plural agreement 'projects' if multiple types, and add 'the' before 'Internet'. Simplify to clear subject-verb structure.

× I remember when I was a child, I was not allowed to use Internet, umm, because there were like so many, umm, so many positive things on uh, umm, uh, on Internet.

✓ I remember when I was a child I was not allowed to use the Internet because there were many positive things on the Internet.

Missing 'the' before 'Internet' twice. Remove filler words and 'like so many' repetition; use 'many positive things' for clarity.

× But uh, but on other side, there were so many like negative things as well.

✓ But on the other hand, there were many negative things as well.

Use idiom 'on the other hand' not 'on other side'. 'So many like negative things' is informal and repetitive; 'many negative things' is clearer.

× So we can't ignore the fact of using Internet or so when I was a child, I was not allowed to use Internet by myself.

✓ So we can't ignore the risks of using the Internet. When I was a child, I was not allowed to use the Internet by myself.

Awkward phrase 'the fact of using Internet' — use 'the risks of using the Internet'. Split into two sentences for clarity and add 'the' before 'Internet'.

× No, as I have mentioned in previous question that I don't use Internet so much.

✓ No. As I mentioned in the previous question, I don't use the Internet very much.

Missing 'the' before 'Internet'. Also adjust tense and phrasing: 'As I mentioned in the previous question' is more natural than 'as I have mentioned in previous question'.

× I only use it for educational purposes or I use it when I need to talk to my family.

✓ I only use it for educational purposes or when I need to talk to my family.

Combine parallel ideas to avoid repeating 'I use it'. Keep 'the Internet' if desired: 'I only use the Internet for educational purposes or when I need to talk to my family.' Either is acceptable.

× So I don't, I don't doom scrolling all the times.

✓ So I don't doomscroll all the time.

'Doomscroll' is a verb; use it in base form without space ('doomscroll'). Use singular 'time' with 'all the time' rather than 'all the times'.

× I don't prefer watching reels or sometimes maybe when weekends uh when I get time like 10 minutes 15.

✓ I don't prefer watching reels, though sometimes on weekends when I have a little time I might watch for 10 or 15 minutes.

Use preposition 'on weekends' and correct tense 'when I have time'. 'Prefer watching' is acceptable but 'I don't prefer watching' is awkward; rephrase to 'I don't prefer watching reels, though sometimes...'. Clarify duration.

× So I don't use Internet a lot, I just use it for my main purposes.

✓ So I don't use the Internet a lot; I just use it for my main purposes.

Missing 'the' before 'Internet'. Replace comma with semicolon or make two sentences for clarity.

× But umm uh, but like without Internet, if I don't have any work to do online or I don't have to study or I have like leisure time, I will love to play badminton with my with my friend or with my brother sometimes.

✓ But without the Internet, if I don't have any online work or study and I have leisure time, I would love to play badminton with my friend or my brother sometimes.

Multiple issues: add 'the' before 'Internet', streamline conditionals (use 'would' for hypothetical), remove repeated 'with my'. Simplify 'I have like leisure time' to 'I have leisure time'.

× And I love to drawing, I love to draw a lot.

✓ And I love drawing; I draw a lot.

Use correct verb form: 'love drawing' or 'love to draw'. 'Love to drawing' is incorrect. Make sentences concise and consistent.