Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear: give a direct topic sentence stating when you started, then one brief reason. Remove hesitation and repetition. Use linking words for clarity (e.g., "because", "so").

例: I started using the internet when I was in class 8 because I needed mobile internet for studying. At that time I mainly used it to search for study materials and watch educational videos.

提案: Start with a clear frequency (e.g., "I go online every day") and then add one or two specific purposes using linking words (e.g., "mainly because", "for example"). Avoid fillers and vague phrases.

例: I go online every day, mainly for studying and research. For example, when I get stuck on a topic I use my phone to look up explanations or watch short tutorials, and sometimes I stream shows to relax.

提案: Give a clear, specific example with a simple timeline and a reason. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "so") and avoid hesitations. Keep it to two or three sentences.

例: Yes. Last month I avoided using the internet because I was preparing for my HSC exams. To stay focused, I limited my online time and used books and notes instead.

提案: Answer directly (Yes/No) with a brief reason and one specific example. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" and avoid repeating phrases.

例: No, I don't think I spend too much time online because I mainly use it for study and important tasks. For example, I only go online to research topics, order necessary items, or access study resources.

提案: Start with a direct statement about what you would do, then give two specific, connected activities using linking words (e.g., "for example", "also"). Keep sentences natural and avoid repeating words.

例: If there were no internet, I would read more books and study from printed materials. I would also spend more time outdoors and play games with my family to relax and connect.

× Well, I started using Internet when I was am I was uh, starting at uh, class 8.

✓ Well, I started using the Internet when I was in class 8.

Missing definite article: 'Internet' is a unique, proper noun that normally takes the definite article 'the'. Also remove stuttering and add preposition 'in' for class level: 'in class 8'.

× Uh, I went there at this time I need to uh, mobile Internet for my study purpose, umm, purpose.

✓ At that time I needed mobile Internet for my study purposes.

Tense inconsistency and wrong verb form: 'went there at this time' is unclear; use past 'needed' to match 'started' earlier. Use plural 'study purposes' for natural collocation and remove redundant words.

× So this, this, this time I use it.

✓ So I used it during that time.

Awkward repetition and wrong tense: speaker refers to past period, so use past tense 'used' and rephrase to clear sentence structure.

× Uh, actually I always go online for my study purpose and sometimes for watching, uh, entertainment shows.

✓ I usually go online for my studies and sometimes to watch entertainment shows.

Use 'usually' instead of 'actually' for frequency; 'go online for my study purpose' is unnatural — use 'for my studies'. Use 'to watch' for purpose of watching.

× So, uh, especially when I was stuck with my, uh, any topic, then I use, uh, mobile phone, uh, for, uh, online.

✓ Especially when I am stuck on a topic, I use my mobile phone to go online.

Tense and preposition issues: use present simple 'am stuck' for general habit and 'stuck on a topic' is correct preposition. Use 'use my mobile phone to go online' for clear purpose.

× Yes. I remember a time when oil I or where I was not allowed to use the Internet.

✓ Yes. I remember a time when I was not allowed to use the Internet.

Remove garbled words 'oil I or where'; keep correct clause 'when I was not allowed to use the Internet' for clarity.

× Uh, this happened in last month when I was, umm, prepared for my study, uh, HSC preparation, HSC exam preparation.

✓ This happened last month when I was preparing for my HSC exams.

Use past continuous 'was preparing' for an ongoing past action. 'In last month' is unidiomatic — use 'last month'. Combine repetitive phrases into 'HSC exams'.

× So that time I avoid, uh, to use Internet for uh, much of time.

✓ At that time I avoided using the Internet for most of the time.

Tense and verb form: use past 'avoided' to match past context and use gerund 'using' after 'avoid'. Also 'for most of the time' is more natural than 'much of time'.

× I don't think I spend too much time on online.

✓ I don't think I spend too much time online.

Preposition/article error: do not use 'on' before 'online'; 'online' already functions as an adverb meaning 'on the internet'.

× I use it for my study purpose and for my, uh, important uh, things.

✓ I use it for my studies and for important things.

Use plural 'studies' and simplify 'important things'. 'Study purpose' is unnatural in English.

× Uh, uh, if I order something or I, uh, or research something, then I uh, spend time online, but rather I don't spend much time on online.

✓ If I order or research something, I spend time online, but otherwise I don't spend much time online.

Remove repetition and use 'otherwise' for contrast. Use present simple for habitual actions and remove extra 'on' before 'online'. },{