Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct verb tenses and articles to make your answer more natural. Also, avoid redundancy by combining related ideas into one clear sentence. For example, say "I started using the internet when I was 17 or 18 because my parents didn't allow me to use it earlier while I was studying."

例: I started using the internet when I was about 17 or 18 years old because my parents didn't allow me to use it while I was still in school. After I finished my secondary education, I began using the internet regularly on my phone.

提案: Focus on clear and concise answers. Avoid confusing phrases like "like 24, not even 24". Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, "I usually go online two to three times a day to use apps like Facebook, Snapchat, and WhatsApp."

例: I usually go online two to three times a day to check and use applications such as Facebook, Snapchat, and WhatsApp.

提案: Clarify your ideas and avoid unclear phrases like "my PayPal going that month." Use linking words to explain reasons clearly. For example, "Yes, I remember when I was preparing for my secondary exams, my parents didn't allow me to use the internet for about a month to help me focus."

例: Yes, I remember when I was preparing for my secondary school exams, my parents didn't allow me to use the internet for about a month so that I could concentrate better on my studies.

提案: Try to avoid filler words like "uh" and be more precise. Use linking words to explain your opinion clearly. For example, "Yes, I think I spend too much time online, especially watching TikTok reels, but I am trying to reduce it."

例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online these days, mainly watching TikTok reels. However, I am making an effort to reduce the amount of time I spend on my phone.

提案: Complete your sentences and avoid trailing off. Use linking words to list activities clearly. For example, "Without the internet, I would spend time doing various activities such as playing tennis and other games with my siblings."

例: Without the internet, I would spend my time doing various activities like playing tennis and other games with my siblings, which we all enjoy.

× I start using Internet when I was 17 or 18 year old because that time I was studying at school and my parents weren't allowed me to use Internet and when I completed my +2 after that I start using Internet on my phone.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was 17 or 18 years old because at that time I was studying at school and my parents didn't allow me to use the Internet. After I completed my +2, I started using the Internet on my phone.

The verb 'start' should be in the past tense 'started' to match the past time reference 'when I was 17 or 18 years old'. Also, 'weren't allowed me' is incorrect; it should be 'didn't allow me' because 'allow' is a transitive verb requiring the auxiliary 'did' in negative past tense. 'Year old' should be plural 'years old' when referring to age greater than one. 'Internet' should be preceded by the definite article 'the' as it is a specific noun here.

× Actually, I can say that regularly I used various applications like Facebook, Snapchat and WhatsApp where I online like 24, not even 24, that's too much, but like 2 to three times a day.

✓ Actually, I can say that I regularly use various applications like Facebook, Snapchat, and WhatsApp where I am online about 2 to 3 times a day, not 24 hours, that's too much.

The verb 'used' should be in the present tense 'use' to match the question about current habits. The phrase 'where I online like 24' is incorrect; it should be 'where I am online about 2 to 3 times a day'. Also, '2 to three' should be consistent in number format, so '2 to 3'. The phrase 'not even 24, that's too much' is better rephrased for clarity.

× Yes, absolutely. I remember one time when I was giving exam for my secondary education, that time my parents didn't allow me to use Internet for like one month because my PayPal going that month, that's why.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I remember one time when I was taking an exam for my secondary education. At that time, my parents didn't allow me to use the Internet for about one month because my PayPal was going on that month, that's why.

The phrase 'was giving exam' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'was taking an exam'. 'Use Internet' should be 'use the Internet' with the definite article. 'For like one month' is informal; 'for about one month' is better. 'My PayPal going that month' is unclear and grammatically incorrect; it should be 'my PayPal was going on that month' or better clarified if possible.

× Yes now yes nowadays I spend two time too much time on uh online, because now I'm like uh spending more time on tiktok just uh uh seeing reels uh that's too much, but I'm trying my best to keep uh the time uh much lower.

✓ Yes, nowadays I spend too much time online because I am spending more time on TikTok just watching reels. That's too much, but I'm trying my best to keep the time much lower.

The phrase 'two time too much time' is incorrect; it should be 'too much time'. 'On uh online' is incorrect; it should be 'online'. 'Seeing reels' is better expressed as 'watching reels'. The sentence is informal and has filler words which should be removed for clarity.

× I do various kind of activities without Internet like playing games with my siblings where like we love to play tennis and we also do.

✓ I do various kinds of activities without the Internet, like playing games with my siblings. We love to play tennis and other games as well.

'Various kind' should be plural 'various kinds' because 'various' implies more than one kind. 'Without Internet' should be 'without the Internet' with the definite article. The sentence 'where like we love to play tennis and we also do' is incomplete and unclear; it is better to separate and clarify the activities.