Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp, khiến ý không được truyền đạt tự nhiên và hiệu quả. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi với câu chủ đề rõ ràng, tránh lặp từ và sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: I started using the internet when I was a child. At that time, I often used the computer to research various topics, such as horoscopes and other subjects that interested me.

提案: Bạn nên trả lời câu hỏi một cách rõ ràng và mạch lạc hơn, tránh lặp từ và sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời có tính logic. Ngoài ra, hãy cung cấp thông tin cụ thể hơn về tần suất sử dụng internet.

例: I go online several times every day. Usually, I check Facebook to surf the internet, update myself with the latest news, and read interesting articles.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi, sử dụng câu chủ đề và bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể, đồng thời tránh lặp từ và sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: I can't clearly remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the internet. However, during high school, my parents allowed me to use a smartphone mainly to chat and discuss schoolwork with my friends.

提案: Bạn nên trả lời câu hỏi một cách rõ ràng và mạch lạc hơn, tránh lặp từ và sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời có tính logic. Hãy cung cấp lý do cụ thể cho quan điểm của bạn.

例: Yes, I do spend too much time online. Since there are 24 hours in a day, I usually spend around 8 to 10 hours online, which I think is quite excessive and unnecessary.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn khá dài và thiếu sự rõ ràng, có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và lặp từ. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi với câu chủ đề, sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc và cung cấp các chi tiết cụ thể hơn.

例: If I lived without the internet, I would spend more time with my brothers and friends. We would often go to bookstores or eat out together, and sometimes just sit in the park to chat.

× What I was a child, uh, when I was a shy.

✓ When I was a child, uh, when I was shy.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'What' instead of 'When' to indicate a time in the past. Also, 'a shy' is incorrect because 'shy' is an adjective and does not need an article. The correct form is 'when I was shy'.

× I, I, I get used to a lot about how use the computer to, uh, reach out to research some information, uh, such as about horoscope, about, uh, anything that the related subject.

✓ I got used to a lot about how to use the computer to, uh, reach out to research some information, uh, such as about horoscopes, about, uh, any related subjects.

The phrase 'get used to' should be in past tense 'got used to' to match the past context. Also, 'how use' is incorrect; it should be 'how to use'. 'Horoscope' should be plural 'horoscopes' to match the context. 'Anything that the related subject' is awkward; 'any related subjects' is clearer.

× I use this, uh, plenty of times, uh, every every day I, I need to, I every day I usually go, uh, going to, uh, Facebook to surf and, uh, update the latest new and, uh, read the.

✓ I use it plenty of times every day. I usually go to Facebook to surf, update the latest news, and read.

The phrase 'I use this' should be 'I use it' referring to the internet. 'Every every day' is repetitive; one 'every day' is enough. 'I usually go, uh, going to' is redundant; 'I usually go to' is correct. 'Update the latest new' should be 'update the latest news'. The sentence was incomplete and needed to be finished properly.

× Well, I didn't remember, but, uh, when I, when I was in the, when I was in high school at that time that my parents are allowed me to use the smartphone and to use the smartphone to, uh, chat with my friends, uh, to art discuss about the.

✓ Well, I don't remember, but when I was in high school, at that time my parents allowed me to use the smartphone to chat with my friends and discuss things.

'Didn't remember' is incorrect; 'don't remember' is the correct present tense for memory. 'My parents are allowed me' should be 'my parents allowed me' in past tense. 'To art discuss about the' is incorrect; it should be 'discuss things' or 'discuss topics'.

× Uh, well, uh, eat that. Uh, we have, we have a 24 hours per day. I unlike about, uh, around 8 or 10 hours, uh, per day. I think that is quite a lot of times to spend it, don't have to spend it.

✓ Well, we have 24 hours per day. I usually spend about 8 to 10 hours per day online. I think that is quite a lot of time to spend and maybe I shouldn't spend that much.

'Eat that' is unclear and likely a mispronunciation. 'A 24 hours per day' should be '24 hours per day' without 'a'. 'I unlike about' is incorrect; 'I usually spend about' is correct. 'A lot of times' should be 'a lot of time' when referring to duration. The sentence needed restructuring for clarity.

× Well, I if I live without the Internet, I gotta ask my brothers or my friends to go hang out with me I was my brother We usually go to the bookstore or to eat outside with my friends I cannot invite them to sit in the park and talk a lot of.

✓ Well, if I lived without the Internet, I would ask my brothers or my friends to hang out with me. My brother and I usually go to the bookstore or eat outside with my friends. I could invite them to sit in the park and talk a lot.

The conditional sentence requires past tense 'if I lived' and modal 'would' for the result. 'Gotta' is informal and should be 'would have to' or 'would ask'. 'I was my brother' is incorrect; it should be 'My brother and I'. The sentence was run-on and needed to be split for clarity.