Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ должен быть более структурированным и естественным. Избегайте лишних слов, таких как "And, for example" в конце, и старайтесь использовать связующие слова для плавности речи.

例: I started using the internet when I was very young because it became popular around my birth. Since then, it has played an important role in my life by helping me learn new things and stay connected with friends and family. For example, I often use it for studying and entertainment.

提案: Избегайте слов-паразитов и неуверенных выражений, таких как "umm" и "I think" в конце. Используйте связующие слова для логичности и старайтесь быть более конкретным.

例: I go online almost all the time because the internet provides me with a lot of useful information daily. For instance, when I cook, I check recipes online to make sure I follow the steps correctly.

提案: Ответ не ясен и содержит противоречия. Избегайте неуверенных выражений и лжи. Лучше дать прямой и честный ответ с поддерживающими деталями.

例: I can't remember a specific time when I wasn't allowed to use the internet. However, when I was a child, my parents sometimes limited my screen time as a punishment, which made me realize how important the internet is for me.

提案: Ответ хороший, но можно улучшить связность и убрать повторения. Используйте более разнообразную лексику и плавные переходы.

例: Yes, I definitely spend too much time online. For example, every morning I start by checking the news and reading messages to catch up on current events. Therefore, I plan to limit my use of devices like my phone and laptop to focus more on offline activities and boost my productivity.

提案: Избегайте неуверенных выражений и повторов. Сделайте ответ более связным и конкретным, используя подходящие связующие слова.

例: Without the internet, I would focus more on my hobbies. For example, since I love reading books, I could visit the library more often. Additionally, I might spend more time running to improve my health.

× So, umm, Internet provides me with a lot of information that I need on a daily basis.

✓ So, umm, the Internet provides me with a lot of information that I need on a daily basis.

The word 'Internet' is a unique noun and requires the definite article 'the' before it. This is a common article usage rule in English.

× So on 24/7 online I think.

✓ So, I think I am online 24/7.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing subject and verb. The phrase 'on 24/7 online' is not correct. The corrected sentence places the subject and verb properly and uses '24/7' as an adverbial phrase.

× Some appearance would punish me by, uh, restricting my access to my iPad for a week or even a month.

✓ Some adults would punish me by, uh, restricting my access to my iPad for a week or even a month.

The word 'appearance' is incorrect here; the intended meaning is likely 'adults' or 'parents'. Using the correct noun clarifies the sentence.

× I I'm sorry, I'm lying.

✓ I'm sorry, I was lying.

The original sentence has a repeated subject 'I' and incorrect tense. The corrected sentence removes the repetition and uses past continuous tense to indicate the action.

× I often read books on online.

✓ I often read books online.

The preposition 'on' is unnecessary before 'online'. 'Online' functions as an adverb here, so 'on' should be omitted.

× I maybe could go to the library and check up on that or I could go running and increasing my health.

✓ I maybe could go to the library and check up on that or I could go running and increase my health.

The verb 'increasing' is incorrectly used after 'could go running and'. The correct form is the base verb 'increase' to match the modal verb 'could'.