Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答时语句不够连贯，表达不清晰，存在语法错误。建议简洁明了地说明开始使用互联网的时间，并避免重复和不必要的信息。

例: I started using the internet when I was nine years old because my mother gave me my first iPhone at that time.

提案: 回答中语法错误较多，表达不清晰，缺少连贯的逻辑。建议用简洁的句子说明上网频率，并用连接词使表达更流畅。

例: I go online every day because nowadays, many people prefer to communicate through social media instead of face-to-face conversations.

提案: 回答语法错误较多，句子不完整，表达不清晰。建议用完整句子描述被禁止上网的经历，并说明原因。

例: Yes, I remember when I was young, my mother did not allow me to use the internet because she thought it would affect my exams and studies.

提案: 回答中表达混乱，语法错误多，逻辑不清。建议明确表达观点，使用具体例子支持，并注意句子结构。

例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because I use it for many things like finding restaurants, chatting with friends, and playing online games, which means I spend less time on real-life activities.

提案: 回答不完整且语法错误严重，表达不清晰。建议用完整句子说明没有互联网时的活动，并避免语法错误。

例: Without the internet, I would spend more time meeting my friends in person because I couldn't chat online or play online games.

× In this time, my mother gave me my first iPhone to me.

✓ At that time, my mother gave me my first iPhone.

句中使用了不必要的重复“to me”，且时间表达应为“at that time”而非“in this time”，需要用过去时态表达过去发生的动作。

× I tried to use the Internet when I received my SO that's why I touched the Internet when I went.

✓ I tried to use the Internet when I received my phone; that's why I started using the Internet then.

句子中“received my SO”不明确，推测为“phone”，且“touched the Internet”表达不当，应改为“started using the Internet”。时态应保持过去时。

× I always go to online because nowadays is digital ears.

✓ I always go online because nowadays is the digital era.

“go to online”中“to”多余，应直接用“go online”。“digital ears”应为“digital era”，表示“数字时代”。

× Many people don't need to have face to face to talk with each other.

✓ Many people don't need to have face-to-face conversations to talk with each other.

“face to face”应作为形容词短语“face-to-face”修饰“conversations”，且句子结构不完整，需要补充名词。

× So we just need to use the to find the social media and then a second to talk about our friend is very comfortable as you can see there.

✓ So we just need to use social media to talk with our friends; it is very convenient, as you can see.

句子中“use the to find the social media”结构混乱，缺少名词且介词使用错误，应简化为“use social media”。“a second to talk about our friend”表达不清，应改为“talk with our friends”。

× Yes, I remember when I was small my mother don't allow me to use the Internet because she thinks if I acted in the Internet would affect my exams and tests so that she tried to take my.

✓ Yes, I remember when I was small my mother didn't allow me to use the Internet because she thought that using the Internet would affect my exams and tests, so she tried to take it away from me.

“don't allow”应为过去时“didn't allow”，且“if I acted in the Internet”表达错误，应为“using the Internet”。句尾“take my”不完整，应补充“take it away from me”。

× I think yes, because owners have different useful way, for example like can find a restaurant, talk to my friends and pay some of the online games.

✓ I think yes, because owners have different useful ways, for example, they can find a restaurant, talk to my friends, and play some online games.

“different useful way”应为复数“different useful ways”，且“pay some of the online games”用词错误，应为“play some online games”。

× So therefore I'd like to spend more many time on the online and I did not spend many time on the real life.

✓ So therefore I'd like to spend more time online and I do not spend much time in real life.

“more many time”重复且错误，应为“more time”或“much time”。“on the online”应为“online”，“on the real life”应为“in real life”。

× I will try to date with my friends because if without the Internet I cannot and face to face talks with my friends.

✓ I will try to meet with my friends because without the Internet I cannot have face-to-face talks with them.

“date with my friends”用词不当，应为“meet with my friends”。“if without the Internet”应为“without the Internet”。“face to face talks”应为“face-to-face talks”。

× Also I cannot have anything to pay for example like online games so therefore I can use to.

✓ Also, I cannot pay for things like online games, so I cannot use them.

“have anything to pay”表达不清，应为“pay for things”。“so therefore I can use to”不完整，应为“so I cannot use them”。