Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and improving sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I started using the internet in my fourth year of high school when we learned how to use computers for browsing and group research projects.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and be more specific with your activities online. Use linking words to connect your ideas clearly.

例: I used to go online very rarely, but now I browse the internet more frequently, especially on Facebook and YouTube, where I watch videos to expand my knowledge.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and grammar. Use linking words to explain the reason behind the limited time clearly.

例: My parents are not strict, so I don't remember being completely forbidden from using the internet; however, they usually limit my usage time to prevent addiction.

提案: Make your answer more structured and complete. Avoid incomplete sentences and use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: When I was in college, I rarely spent much time online, but now, as a working mom, I browse more often, chatting through messenger and watching movies.

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid redundancy.

例: Without the internet, I would spend my time doing household chores like washing clothes and cooking, as well as taking care of my baby to create special memories together.

× because during that time we are taught on how to use a computer and to browse computer and do research as well with group interaction.

✓ because during that time we were taught how to use a computer, browse the computer, and do research as well with group interaction.

The sentence refers to a past event, so the verb tense should be past ('were taught') instead of present ('are taught'). Also, 'taught on how to use' is incorrect; it should be 'taught how to use'. Additionally, 'browse computer' is missing an article and should be 'browse the computer'.

× I started when I was in late high school, like fourth year high school because during that time we are taught on how to use a computer and to browse computer and do research as well with group interaction.

✓ I started when I was in late high school, like fourth year of high school, because during that time we were taught how to use a computer, browse the computer, and do research as well with group interaction.

The phrase 'fourth year high school' is missing the preposition 'of' to correctly indicate the year level: 'fourth year of high school'.

× Before very seldom, but now, uh, more frequently.

✓ Before, very seldom; but now, uh, more frequently.

The sentence is a fragment and lacks a verb. Adding punctuation clarifies the meaning, but ideally, it should be a complete sentence like 'Before, I went online very seldom, but now, uh, more frequently.' However, as per instructions, only grammar mistakes from the list are corrected.

× Usually I'm browsing the Internet like surfing, uh, in Facebook, in YouTube.

✓ Usually I'm browsing the Internet, like surfing on Facebook and YouTube.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect when referring to websites or platforms; the correct preposition is 'on'.

× I used to listen in YouTube to gain more knowledge and expand my knowledge as well.

✓ I used to listen on YouTube to gain more knowledge and expand my knowledge as well.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'on YouTube' is the correct usage when referring to the platform.

× My parents are not strict so I cannot remember anything that they did not allow me to browse in the Internet.

✓ My parents are not strict, so I cannot remember anything that they did not allow me to browse on the Internet.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect; it should be 'on the Internet'. Also, a comma is needed before 'so' to separate the clauses.

× They usually allow me but only certain time or limited time to prevent addiction with the browsing the Internet.

✓ They usually allow me, but only for a certain time or limited time to prevent addiction to browsing the Internet.

The phrase 'allow me but only certain time' needs a preposition 'for' to indicate duration. Also, 'addiction with the browsing' is incorrect; it should be 'addiction to browsing'. The article 'the' before 'browsing' is unnecessary.

× Before when I was college very seldom but now as a working mom, yes I browse more often and spend a lot of time like chatting with the use of messenger, watching movies with.

✓ Before, when I was in college, very seldom; but now, as a working mom, yes, I browse more often and spend a lot of time chatting using Messenger and watching movies.

The phrase 'when I was college' is missing the preposition 'in'. The sentence is fragmented and awkward; adding commas and restructuring improves clarity. 'Chatting with the use of messenger' is incorrect; it should be 'chatting using Messenger'. The sentence ending 'watching movies with' is incomplete and should be corrected to 'watching movies.'

× Before when I was college very seldom but now as a working mom, yes I browse more often and spend a lot of time like chatting with the use of messenger, watching movies with.

✓ Before, when I was in college, very seldom; but now, as a working mom, yes, I browse more often and spend a lot of time chatting using Messenger and watching movies.

The preposition 'in' is missing before 'college'. Also, 'chatting with the use of messenger' is incorrect; it should be 'chatting using Messenger'. The phrase 'watching movies with' is incomplete and should be 'watching movies.'

× I usually spend my time doing the household chores like washing the clothes, cooking, taking care of my baby to spend more time with her more specially and to create memories.

✓ I usually spend my time doing household chores like washing clothes, cooking, and taking care of my baby to spend more time with her, especially to create memories.

The article 'the' before 'household chores' and 'clothes' is unnecessary. 'More specially' is incorrect; the correct adverb is 'especially'. Also, adding commas improves sentence clarity.