Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more natural and concise. Try to avoid repeating 'I needed' and improve sentence flow by linking ideas smoothly.

例: I started using the internet when I was 19, after entering university, because I needed it to submit assessments and research theories.

提案: Your answer is understandable but lacks fluency and has some grammatical errors. Use linking words and correct plural forms to make it clearer and more natural.

例: I go online every day for about three hours because I enjoy connecting with my friends and watching YouTube. I have several favourite channels that I follow regularly.

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and grammatically incorrect. Try to structure your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using correct prepositions and tenses.

例: Before I started university, I wasn't allowed to use the internet because my parents didn't give me permission.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more natural and grammatically correct. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid awkward phrasing.

例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online. Even when exams are approaching, I still watch YouTube videos, which is a bad habit of mine.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas more clearly and organise your sentences logically with linking words.

例: Without the internet, I think I would sleep more because recently I have been feeling tired and haven't been getting enough rest.

× When I was 19, since I entered the university, I needed to submit my assessment and search for the theory, so I needed to use the Internet.

✓ When I was 19, since I had entered the university, I needed to submit my assessment and search for the theory, so I needed to use the Internet.

The phrase 'since I entered the university' refers to a past event that happened before another past event ('I needed to submit'). Therefore, the past perfect tense 'had entered' is appropriate to show the sequence of events clearly.

× Every day three hours because I love to connect with my friend and also I love to watch YouTube.

✓ Every day for three hours because I love to connect with my friends and also I love to watch YouTube.

The phrase 'my friend' should be plural 'my friends' to match the context of connecting with multiple people. Also, 'Every day three hours' is missing the preposition 'for' to indicate duration.

× There are several of my favorite channels so I go every.

✓ There are several of my favorite channels, so I visit them every day.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'visit them every day' clarifies the meaning and corrects the sentence structure.

× As I mentioned before, since I entered to university before that, I don't have any access to use the Internet and no permission of my parents.

✓ As I mentioned before, since I entered university before that, I didn't have any access to use the Internet and no permission from my parents.

The preposition 'to' after 'entered' is incorrect; 'entered university' is correct. Also, 'no permission of my parents' should be 'no permission from my parents' to use the correct preposition.

× As I mentioned before, since I entered to university before that, I don't have any access to use the Internet and no permission of my parents.

✓ As I mentioned before, since I entered university before that, I didn't have any access to use the Internet and no permission from my parents.

The sentence refers to a past situation, so 'don't have' should be in the past tense 'didn't have' to maintain tense consistency.

× I think so, even if the exam day is coming closer, I keep using the online and watching the YouTube video.

✓ I think so, even if the exam day is coming closer, I keep using the internet and watching YouTube videos.

The phrase 'using the online' is incorrect; it should be 'using the internet'. Also, 'the YouTube video' should be plural 'YouTube videos' to match the context.

× That's my bad habit.

✓ That's my bad habit.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed.

× I would say sleeping a lot because nowadays I get tired easily then not enough sleeping time I'm I am taking even though I'm sleeping a lot so that's why I chose sleeping.

✓ I would say sleeping a lot because nowadays I get tired easily and don't get enough sleep even though I sleep a lot, so that's why I choose sleeping.

The original sentence has awkward phrasing and tense inconsistency. 'I'm I am taking' is incorrect and confusing. Using 'don't get enough sleep' and 'I sleep a lot' clarifies the meaning and corrects the modal and tense usage.