Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and use correct vocabulary. For example, specify when you started using the internet and what device you used.

例: I started using the internet when I was a teenager. I used a durable mobile phone to watch videos and study. Since then, I have kept updating my devices to access new features.

提案: Your answer is relevant but has some redundancy and minor grammatical mistakes. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep sentences concise.

例: I don't go online very often because my schedule is hectic. However, I usually scroll through apps in the evening before sleep to catch up on updates, which helps me relax.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. Provide a complete response with specific details and use linking words to explain your experience clearly.

例: Yes, I remember a time during my teenage years in the hostel when internet use was prohibited due to strict rules. During that period, I found it challenging to stay connected with friends and study materials.

提案: Your answer has grammatical errors and unclear phrases. Try to structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using appropriate vocabulary.

例: No, I don't spend too much time online because I am busy attending patients during the day. However, whenever I get a break, I browse social media apps to stay updated.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and incomplete. Provide a clear opinion with supporting reasons and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I believe that without the internet, people would become more productive because they would focus more on critical thinking and personal interactions. Therefore, staying offline could be beneficial for our mental processes.

× I started using technology from my teenage.

✓ I started using technology in my teenage years.

The preposition 'from' is incorrectly used here. The correct preposition to indicate a period in life is 'in'. Also, 'teenage' should be followed by 'years' to be grammatically correct.

× I was having a durable food which I have used for watching videos and and also for studying purpose.

✓ I was using a durable device which I have used for watching videos and also for studying purposes.

'Durable food' is incorrect; likely the intended word is 'device'. Also, 'studying purpose' should be pluralized to 'studying purposes' to be correct.

× Since then I started and and I've updated with the new versions of innovation.

✓ Since then, I started and I've kept updated with the new versions of innovation.

The repetition of 'and' is an error. Also, 'updated with' should be 'kept updated with' to express continuous updating.

× Not very often as my day is my schedule is really hectic, I don't get enough time to do to go online.

✓ Not very often, as my schedule is really hectic and I don't get enough time to go online.

The sentence has redundancy and awkward phrasing. 'My day is my schedule' is incorrect and 'to do to go online' is redundant. The corrected sentence is clearer and grammatically correct.

× So during the evening time before sleep, I usually scroll through the apps to see all the updates which make me more relaxed.

✓ So during the evening before sleep, I usually scroll through apps to see all the updates which make me more relaxed.

'During the evening time' is redundant; 'during the evening' or 'in the evening' is preferred. Also, 'the apps' should be 'apps' as it refers to apps in general.

× Yes, I yes, I just remember that most formidable time, it was in my teenage hostel where I was not allowed to use any Internet because of the strict rules.

✓ Yes, I just remember that most formidable time; it was in my teenage hostel where I was not allowed to use the Internet because of the strict rules.

Repetition of 'I yes, I' is incorrect. Also, 'any Internet' should be 'the Internet' as it is a specific noun.

× So over that time I found it very.

✓ So during that time, I found it very difficult.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks an object or complement. Adding 'difficult' completes the thought.

× Of course not as I will be busy at the cleaning with my attending patients so I don't much time or night.

✓ Of course not, as I will be busy cleaning and attending to my patients, so I don't have much time at night.

'Busy at the cleaning' is incorrect; it should be 'busy cleaning'. 'Attending patients' needs 'to' to be 'attending to my patients'. Also, 'don't much time or night' is incorrect and corrected to 'don't have much time at night'.

× But whenever I get a break from my work, I will definitely catch up by browsing social media apps which make me updated.

✓ But whenever I get a break from my work, I will definitely catch up by browsing social media apps which keep me updated.

'Make me updated' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'keep me updated'.

× I think if we are, if we stay without net, we will become more productive and also it increases our critical, it fosters our thinking process.

✓ I think if we stay without the internet, we will become more productive and it will also increase our critical thinking; it fosters our thinking process.

'Without net' should be 'without the internet'. The phrase 'it increases our critical' is incomplete; it should be 'increase our critical thinking'. Also, the sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× So I think if we if we are, if we have a chance to stay with our neck, it will be more helpful to our.

✓ So I think if we have a chance to stay without the internet, it will be more helpful to us.

'Stay with our neck' is incorrect and likely a mishearing of 'stay without the net'. The sentence is incomplete and corrected for clarity and grammar.