Internet— Part 1 採点レポート
会話
Part 1
試験官
When did you start using the internet?
受験者
Yeah, I still remember exactly. It was 10 years ago, when I was 7, my mother bought me a new iPad for my studies. That's also the first time that I have approached the Internet.
試験官
How often do you go online?
受験者
Well, I've always accessed the Internet every night for my studies. I tend to use online dictionary to check the definition of new vocabularies, and I also access the Internet to watch my favorite movies.
試験官
Can you remember a time you weren’t allowed to use the internet?
受験者
Yeah, it was about yesterday when my mom didn't allow me to use my phone because I had been playing games nonstop from the morning to the evening because she wanted me to relax and go outside for outdoor activities.
試験官
Do you think you spend too much time online?
受験者
I would say 5050, although my excessive screen time would cost several eye problems, however eye spending time online reasonably, especially for my studies or school projects.
試験官
What would you do without the internet?
受験者
Without Internet, I think I would go outside to engage in physical activities because it is the great way to relax after a busy day and also keeps me in shape.
評価
総合
Part 1
When did you start using the internet?
スコア: 75.0提案: Câu trả lời của bạn khá tự nhiên và có cấu trúc cơ bản, nhưng bạn nên tránh dùng từ không chính xác như "approached the Internet" và nên dùng từ vựng phù hợp hơn. Ngoài ra, câu trả lời có thể ngắn gọn hơn và rõ ràng hơn.
例: I started using the internet about 10 years ago when I was 7. My mother bought me an iPad for my studies, and that was the first time I accessed the internet.
How often do you go online?
スコア: 80.0提案: Bạn trả lời rõ ràng và có thêm chi tiết hỗ trợ, tuy nhiên nên chú ý dùng số nhiều đúng cách như "vocabulary" thay vì "vocabularies" và sử dụng liên từ để câu mạch lạc hơn.
例: I go online every night, mainly for my studies. For example, I often use an online dictionary to check the meanings of new vocabulary, and I also watch my favorite movies on the internet.
Can you remember a time you weren’t allowed to use the internet?
スコア: 78.0提案: Câu trả lời của bạn khá đầy đủ nhưng hơi dài và lặp từ "because" nhiều lần. Bạn nên sử dụng các liên từ khác để câu trôi chảy hơn và tránh lặp từ.
例: Yes, just yesterday my mom didn't let me use my phone since I had been playing games all day. She wanted me to relax and spend time outdoors instead.
Do you think you spend too much time online?
スコア: 65.0提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không chính xác như "5050", "eye spending time". Bạn nên sử dụng câu đơn giản, rõ ràng và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp.
例: I think I spend about half of my time online. Although too much screen time can cause eye problems, I try to use the internet reasonably, especially for studying and school projects.
What would you do without the internet?
スコア: 85.0提案: Câu trả lời của bạn khá tốt, nhưng nên chú ý dùng mạo từ đúng như "a great way" thay vì "the great way" và có thể thêm liên từ để câu mạch lạc hơn.
例: Without the internet, I would spend more time outdoors doing physical activities because it is a great way to relax after a busy day and helps me stay in shape.
文法
× That's also the first time that I have approached the Internet.
✓ That's also the first time that I approached the Internet.
The present perfect tense 'have approached' is incorrect here because the sentence refers to a specific past event. The simple past tense 'approached' should be used to indicate a completed action in the past.
× I tend to use online dictionary to check the definition of new vocabularies, and I also access the Internet to watch my favorite movies.
✓ I tend to use an online dictionary to check the definition of new vocabulary, and I also access the Internet to watch my favorite movies.
The noun 'dictionary' is countable and requires an article 'an'. The word 'vocabularies' is uncountable in this context and should be 'vocabulary'.
× Yeah, it was about yesterday when my mom didn't allow me to use my phone because I had been playing games nonstop from the morning to the evening because she wanted me to relax and go outside for outdoor activities.
✓ Yeah, it was yesterday when my mom didn't allow me to use my phone because I had been playing games nonstop from the morning to the evening since she wanted me to relax and go outside for outdoor activities.
The phrase 'about yesterday' is incorrect; 'yesterday' alone is sufficient. Also, 'because' is repeated unnecessarily; replacing the second 'because' with 'since' improves sentence flow.
× I would say 5050, although my excessive screen time would cost several eye problems, however eye spending time online reasonably, especially for my studies or school projects.
✓ I would say 50-50. Although my excessive screen time could cause several eye problems, I try to spend time online reasonably, especially for my studies or school projects.
The original sentence is fragmented and contains run-on elements. '5050' should be '50-50'. 'Would cost' is incorrect; 'could cause' is appropriate. 'Eye spending time' is incorrect; it should be 'I try to spend time'. The sentence is split into two for clarity.
× Without Internet, I think I would go outside to engage in physical activities because it is the great way to relax after a busy day and also keeps me in shape.
✓ Without the Internet, I think I would go outside to engage in physical activities because it is a great way to relax after a busy day and also keeps me in shape.
The noun 'Internet' requires the definite article 'the'. Also, 'the great way' should be 'a great way' because it is one of many ways.
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