Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevabınızda dilbilgisi hataları ve tekrarlar var. Cümlenizi daha doğal ve akıcı yapmak için gereksiz tekrarları kaldırmalı ve doğru zaman kiplerini kullanmalısınız. Ayrıca, cevabınızı 3-4 cümle ile sınırlayarak daha etkili yapabilirsiniz.

例: I started using the internet when I was 11, in 2016. It was an amazing experience because it felt like entering another world. I was fascinated by how much information I could access instantly.

提案: Cümlenizde bazı dilbilgisi hataları ve anlam belirsizlikleri var. Daha doğal ve akıcı olmak için cümlelerinizi net ve doğru yapıda kurmalısınız. Ayrıca, bağlaçlar kullanarak cümlelerinizin akışını iyileştirebilirsiniz.

例: I go online daily, usually for about 11 hours. This is because I do my chores and work online. I work from home as a freelance translator, so the internet is essential for my job.

提案: Cevabınızda bazı dilbilgisi ve kelime kullanımı hataları var. Daha spesifik ve akıcı olmak için cümlelerinizi daha düzgün yapıda kurmalı ve gereksiz tekrarları azaltmalısınız.

例: Yes, I remember when I was 12, I visited my hometown, Jerezon. There was no internet, no electricity, and even no way to charge my devices. It was quite difficult for me since I was used to being online all the time.

提案: Cümlenizde tekrarlar ve tamamlanmamış ifadeler var. Daha net ve doğal cevaplar vermek için cümlelerinizi tamamlamalı ve gereksiz tekrarları kaldırmalısınız. Ayrıca, bağlaçlar kullanarak düşüncelerinizi daha iyi bağlayabilirsiniz.

例: No, I don't think I spend too much time online because most of the time I am working or doing chores. I rarely use the internet for chatting or calling. My online activities are mostly related to my job, which I really enjoy.

提案: Cevabınız kısa ve biraz dağınık. Daha etkili olmak için düşüncelerinizi daha düzenli ve detaylı ifade etmeli, bağlaçlar kullanarak cümlelerinizi birbirine bağlamalısınız.

例: If I didn't have the internet, I would probably look for another job because my current work depends on it. Also, I wouldn't be able to keep in touch with my friends or order food online, which would be quite inconvenient.

× So if I don't remember wrong, I was 11 and that year was 2016.

✓ If I don't remember wrong, I was 11 and that year was 2016.

The phrase 'So if I don't remember wrong' is incorrect because 'if' already introduces a condition, so 'So' is unnecessary and redundant. Removing 'So' makes the sentence clearer and grammatically correct.

× because I using another dimension, it feels like like it feels like another dimension for me and.

✓ because I was using another dimension; it feels like another dimension for me.

The verb 'using' requires an auxiliary verb to form the present continuous or past continuous tense. Here, 'I using' is incorrect; it should be 'I was using' to indicate past continuous action. Also, the sentence was incomplete and repetitive, so it was corrected for clarity.

× In a daily, usually 11 hours because I do my chores and my jobs and Internet.

✓ Daily, usually 11 hours because I do my chores, my jobs, and use the Internet.

The phrase 'In a daily' is incorrect; the correct adverb is 'Daily' without a preposition. Also, 'and Internet' is incomplete; it should be 'use the Internet' to make sense.

× I have to. I'm working on Home Office jobs.

✓ I have to. I'm working from home office jobs.

The phrase 'working on Home Office jobs' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'from' when referring to working remotely from home.

× there was no Internet, no battery charge, there is no electric.

✓ there was no Internet, no battery charge, there was no electricity.

The sentence mixes past and present tense ('was' and 'is') incorrectly. Also, 'electric' is a noun here but should be 'electricity'. The corrected sentence uses past tense consistently and the correct noun.

× I don't think because I'm usually doing doing my chores and my jobs.

✓ I don't think so because I'm usually doing my chores and my jobs.

The phrase 'I don't think because' is incomplete and incorrect. Adding 'so' after 'think' completes the expression. Also, the repeated word 'doing doing' is a typo and corrected.

× Actually, usually I use for my job and I love making it 'cause it's a obsession for me.

✓ Actually, I usually use it for my job and I love doing it because it's an obsession for me.

The sentence lacks the object pronoun 'it' after 'use'. Also, 'making it' is incorrect; 'doing it' fits better. The article 'a' before 'obsession' should be 'an' because 'obsession' starts with a vowel sound.

× Probably I will find another job and I cannot text with my friends.

✓ Probably I will find another job and I will not be able to text my friends.

The sentence mixes future and present tense incorrectly. 'I cannot' should be 'I will not be able to' to match the future tense context. Also, 'text with my friends' is better as 'text my friends'.