Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: حاول تحسين القواعد اللغوية واستخدام زمن الفعل الصحيح، بالإضافة إلى جعل الجمل أكثر وضوحًا وترتيبًا لتجنب التكرار.

例: I started using the Internet at a very young age because technology was already advanced when I was born. I learned to use it early and mastered it during my teenage years.

提案: استخدم عبارات أكثر دقة ووضح النسبة بشكل أفضل مع ربط الأفكار باستخدام أدوات الربط.

例: Honestly, I spend most of my time online, either for fun activities or work-related tasks such as meetings and job interviews. Nowadays, people spend about 90% of their time online.

提案: حاول استخدام جمل أكثر تماسكًا مع ربط الأفكار بشكل أفضل وتجنب التكرار.

例: Yes, I remember when I was a kid, I used to spend too much time playing video games online. My family would force me to stop, and if I didn't, they would take away my laptop.

提案: حاول تحسين تركيب الجمل واستخدام أدوات الربط بشكل أفضل لجعل الإجابة أكثر سلاسة ووضوحًا.

例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because nowadays, almost everything is done online, whether it's work-related tasks, leisure activities, or communicating with friends and family. Therefore, most of my time is spent online.

提案: حاول استخدام لغة أكثر رسمية وتجنب استخدام العبارات العامية، بالإضافة إلى تحسين ترابط الأفكار.

例: I would try to adapt to life without the Internet because, if we think carefully, our ancestors lived and achieved their goals without it.

× I start using the Internet in a very young age, since I was born with the Internet was already advanced and the technology in general.

✓ I started using the Internet at a very young age, since when I was born the Internet was already advanced and technology in general.

The sentence refers to a past event, so the verb 'start' should be in the past tense 'started'. Also, 'in a very young age' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'at a very young age'. Additionally, the clause 'since I was born with the Internet was already advanced' is grammatically incorrect and should be rephrased to 'since when I was born the Internet was already advanced'. النقطة الأساسية هي استخدام زمن المضارع بدلاً من الماضي عند الحديث عن حدث وقع في الماضي، وتصحيح استخدام حرف الجر المناسب مع 'age'، وإعادة صياغة الجملة لتكون صحيحة نحوياً.

× So I learned the Internet in a very young age and I master it, mastered it at my teenage years.

✓ So I learned to use the Internet at a very young age and mastered it during my teenage years.

The phrase 'learned the Internet' is incorrect; it should be 'learned to use the Internet'. Also, 'in a very young age' should be 'at a very young age'. The verb 'master' should be in past tense 'mastered' to match the past time frame. 'At my teenage years' is better expressed as 'during my teenage years'. التصحيح يشمل استخدام التعبير الصحيح 'learned to use' بدلاً من 'learned the', واستخدام حرف الجر الصحيح 'at' مع 'age'، وتصحيح زمن الفعل إلى الماضي، وتحسين التعبير الزمني.

× Honestly, I spend most of my time online either for engaging in fun activities or for a job.

✓ Honestly, I spend most of my time online either engaging in fun activities or working for a job.

The phrase 'for engaging' is incorrect; after 'either', the verb should be in the gerund form without 'for'. Also, 'for a job' is vague; 'working for a job' or 'doing job-related tasks' is clearer. التصحيح يشمل إزالة 'for' قبل 'engaging' واستخدام صيغة المصدر المستمر بشكل صحيح، وتحسين التعبير عن العمل.

× Meetings, job interviews, it's basically a 90% in our days to spend online.

✓ Meetings, job interviews, it's basically 90% of our time these days spent online.

The phrase 'a 90%' is incorrect; percentages do not take an article 'a'. Also, 'in our days' should be 'these days' or 'nowadays'. The sentence structure is awkward and needs rephrasing for clarity. التصحيح يشمل إزالة 'a' قبل النسبة المئوية، واستخدام التعبير الزمني الصحيح، وتحسين تركيب الجملة.

× Yes, I do remember when I was a kid and when I was using my time excessively playing video games and online gaming, my family would force me to stop and if I wouldn't they would take away my laptop.

✓ Yes, I do remember when I was a kid and was spending my time excessively playing video games and online gaming; my family would force me to stop, and if I didn't, they would take away my laptop.

The phrase 'when I was using my time excessively' is awkward; 'was spending my time excessively' is better. The conditional 'if I wouldn't' is incorrect; it should be 'if I didn't'. Also, punctuation is needed to separate clauses. التصحيح يشمل استخدام التعبير الصحيح للزمن المستمر في الماضي، وتصحيح الشرط إلى صيغة الماضي البسيط، وتحسين علامات الترقيم.

× Yes, I do think I spend too much time online since everything needs to be done online in our days, whether it's a job related matter, whether it's for my free time, whether to communicate with friends and family.

✓ Yes, I do think I spend too much time online since everything needs to be done online these days, whether it's a job-related matter, for my free time, or to communicate with friends and family.

The phrase 'in our days' is incorrect; 'these days' is the correct expression. Also, 'job related' should be hyphenated as 'job-related'. The sentence structure with 'whether' is improved by using 'or' before the last item. التصحيح يشمل استخدام التعبير الزمني الصحيح، إضافة الشرطة بين الكلمات المركبة، وتحسين تركيب الجملة.

× So yeah, most of my time are spent online.

✓ So yeah, most of my time is spent online.

The subject 'most of my time' is singular, so the verb should be 'is' instead of 'are'. التصحيح يشمل توافق الفعل مع الفاعل المفرد.

× I would try to learn to deal with it.

✓ I would try to learn how to deal with it.

The phrase 'learn to deal with it' is understandable but 'learn how to deal with it' is more natural and idiomatic. التصحيح يشمل إضافة 'how' لجعل التعبير أكثر طبيعية.

× 'Cause if you think deeply, our ancestors and grandfathers and fathers and way before them have lived and achieved their goals without the help of the Internet.

✓ 'Cause if you think deeply, our ancestors, grandfathers, fathers, and those before them lived and achieved their goals without the help of the Internet.

The phrase 'have lived and achieved' suggests present perfect tense, which is less appropriate when referring to distant past ancestors. Simple past 'lived and achieved' is better. Also, commas are needed to separate items in the list. التصحيح يشمل استخدام زمن الماضي البسيط بدلاً من المضارع التام، وتحسين علامات الترقيم.