Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不够自然，建议简化句子结构，避免重复和多余的词汇，同时注意冠词和时态的正确使用。

例: I started using the internet when I was about eight years old. At my primary school, we had computer lessons where the teacher taught us how to use it.

提案: 回答中表达不够流畅，有语法错误和重复，建议使用更自然的表达方式，避免口语填充词，句子结构应更简洁明了。

例: I go online almost every day, especially when I am working. I often use my mobile phone to browse information and watch videos on the internet.

提案: 回答中有较多犹豫和重复，语法不准确，建议提前组织语言，避免口语填充词，使用完整且正确的句子表达观点。

例: I remember when I was about ten years old, I wanted to play video games after school, but my mom did not allow me to do that.

提案: 回答中存在大量重复和语法错误，表达不够清晰，建议简化句子，避免重复，使用更准确的时态和词汇。

例: Yes, I think I spend too much time online. Sometimes I use my mobile phone all day, which is bad for my eyes.

提案: 回答表达较为自然，但存在语法和用词不准确，建议使用更准确的词汇和句式，避免口语填充词，使表达更流畅。

例: If I didn't have the internet, I would exercise by riding a bike, dancing, or singing outside. Sometimes, I would also read books, which is good for my health.

× I started using Internet when I was a kid about 8 years old in my primary school and we have a lesson called computer lesson and teacher would teach us how to use it.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was a kid about 8 years old in my primary school and we had a lesson called computer lesson and the teacher would teach us how to use it.

“Internet”前面需要加定冠词“the”，因为这里指的是特定的互联网。句中“we have”应改为过去时“we had”，因为描述的是过去的事情。缺少“the”在“teacher”前面，表示特定的老师。

× Well, I approximately go online every day and every moment, especially when I was working.

✓ Well, I approximately go online every day and every moment, especially when I am working.

“especially when I was working”与前文现在时态不一致，应改为现在时“when I am working”，因为描述的是习惯性动作。

× I can't uh, refuse the using my mobile phone and scrolling the information on the Internet and some videos.

✓ I can't, uh, refuse using my mobile phone and scrolling through information on the Internet and watching some videos.

“refuse the using”搭配错误，应为“refuse using”。“scrolling the information”应改为“scrolling through information”，表示浏览信息。补充“watching”表示观看视频。

× I want to, I wanted to play the video games after schools, but my mom, umm, didn't, didn't agree that.

✓ I wanted to play video games after school, but my mom, umm, didn't agree with that.

“I want to”与后文过去时不一致，应去掉。“the video games”中“the”不需要，且“games”复数。“after schools”应为“after school”，表示放学后。动词“agree”后应加介词“with”。

× I think I really spent too much time on it and and even even on a whole day I I can do nothing without playing with my mobile phone and I spent too much time on it.

✓ I think I really spend too much time on it and even on a whole day I can do nothing without playing with my mobile phone, and I spend too much time on it.

这里描述的是现在的情况，应使用现在时“spend”，而非过去时“spent”。

× Well umm, when I put down my phones, I maybe choose to have some exercise like riding or dancing or singing outside.

✓ Well, umm, when I put down my phone, I might choose to do some exercise like riding, dancing, or singing outside.

“phones”应为单数“phone”，因为通常指一部手机。动词“maybe choose”搭配不当，应为“might choose”。“have some exercise”不自然，应为“do some exercise”。

× Maybe sometimes I will read some books and they are also good for my health instead of work.

✓ Maybe sometimes I will read some books, and they are also good for my health instead of working.

“instead of work”应为“instead of working”，因为“instead of”后面应接动名词形式。