Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn cần rõ ràng và mạch lạc hơn. Hãy tránh lỗi ngữ pháp và sắp xếp câu hợp lý hơn để câu trả lời tự nhiên và hiệu quả. Bạn nên sử dụng các từ nối để liên kết các ý và cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể hơn.

例: I started using the Internet when I was 10 years old because that was the year I got my first smartphone. Since then, I have enjoyed exploring different websites and learning new things online. Therefore, the Internet has become an important part of my daily life.

提案: Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi và sử dụng thì hiện tại đơn cho thói quen. Ngoài ra, hãy sử dụng các từ nối để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp.

例: I usually go online after school because I want to relax and reduce the stress I get from studying.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn không rõ ràng và có lỗi ngữ pháp. Hãy trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi, tránh dùng các câu không phù hợp hoặc quá phóng đại. Sử dụng câu đơn giản, rõ ràng và có liên kết.

例: I can't really remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the Internet because I use my phone a lot every day.

提案: Bạn nên sử dụng ngữ pháp chính xác và câu trả lời rõ ràng hơn. Hãy dùng các từ nối để câu trả lời mạch lạc và cung cấp lý do cụ thể hơn.

例: I don't think I spend too much time online because I study at school almost all day, and I only use my phone for two to three hours.

提案: Bạn nên sử dụng thì tương lai chính xác và tránh lặp từ. Hãy dùng các từ nối để câu trả lời tự nhiên và thêm chi tiết cụ thể hơn.

例: If I didn't have the Internet, I would hang out with my friends. We would play games, talk, and have meals together.

× So I started using the Internet when I was 10 years old because that's where the first year I got a mass phone.

✓ So I started using the Internet when I was 10 years old because that was the year I got my first phone.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'that's where the first year I got a mass phone' which is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The correction uses past tense 'was' to match the past event and corrects the phrase to 'that was the year I got my first phone' for clarity and correctness.

× I enjoy employing different websites and learning thing new things online.

✓ I enjoy using different websites and learning new things online.

The phrase 'learning thing new things' is incorrect. 'Thing' is unnecessary and 'new things' should be together. Also, 'employing' is less natural here; 'using' is more appropriate for websites.

× I was going online when I went after school.

✓ I went online after school.

The phrase 'I was going online when I went after school' is awkward and incorrect. The simple past tense 'I went online after school' is appropriate to describe a habitual past action.

× I just want relax and decrease stress in my when I learn in my school.

✓ I just want to relax and reduce stress when I study at school.

The sentence has missing 'to' after 'want', incorrect verb 'decrease' (should be 'reduce' for stress), incorrect pronoun 'my' without a noun, and awkward phrasing 'learn in my school'. The correction fixes these issues for clarity and correctness.

× I'm not really remember the time I was allowed to use the Internet because my phone is my life.

✓ I don't really remember the time I was not allowed to use the Internet because my phone is my life.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'I'm not really remember' which is ungrammatical. The correct form is 'I don't really remember'. Also, the meaning is about times when the student was not allowed to use the Internet, so 'was allowed' is changed to 'was not allowed'.

× Because if I don't have phone I can die.

✓ Because if I don't have my phone, I feel like I can't live.

The sentence lacks the possessive 'my' before 'phone'. Also, 'I can die' is too literal and unnatural; 'I feel like I can't live' or 'I feel lost' is more appropriate in this context.

× I don't think so because 24 on 7 I learn in my school and I just have two to three hour to use my phone.

✓ I don't think so because I study at school 24/7 and I only have two to three hours to use my phone.

The phrase '24 on 7' is incorrect; the correct expression is '24/7'. 'I learn in my school' is awkward; 'I study at school' is better. Also, 'two to three hour' should be plural 'hours'.

× If I don't have Internet I will go hang out with my friend.

✓ If I don't have the Internet, I will go hang out with my friends.

'Internet' needs the definite article 'the'. 'Friend' should be plural 'friends' to match the usual expression. The future tense 'will go' is correct.

× I play with my friend and I talk with my friend and I eating.

✓ I play with my friends, talk with my friends, and eat.

The sentence mixes tenses and lacks parallel structure. 'I eating' is incorrect; it should be 'I eat'. Also, 'friend' should be plural 'friends' for consistency and naturalness.