Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 명확하지 않고 문법적으로 부자연스러우며, 중복된 내용이 많습니다. 간결하고 명확한 문장으로 시작하고, 추가 설명은 논리적으로 연결하여 구체적으로 표현하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: I started using the internet when I was in elementary school because the Korean national curriculum introduced a new subject called Computer Studies. This subject helped me learn how to use the internet effectively.

提案: 답변이 단절되고 문장이 완성되지 않은 부분이 있습니다. 자연스러운 문장 연결과 구체적인 활동 설명을 통해 답변을 풍부하게 만드는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: I go online every day because my mobile phone is always connected to Wi-Fi or mobile data. Whenever I have free time, I usually check my emails and scroll through social media.

提案: 답변이 불완전하고 중복된 내용이 많아 의미 전달이 어렵습니다. 질문에 직접적으로 답하고, 구체적인 상황을 명확하게 설명하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: Yes, I remember when I was in elementary school, I was not allowed to use the internet during class time because the school wanted us to focus on lessons without distractions.

提案: 문장이 단절되고 문법 오류가 있습니다. 명확한 주제 문장과 이유를 연결하는 문장 구조를 연습하고, 문법적 정확성을 높이는 것이 필요합니다.

例: Actually, I don't spend too much time online because I have two young sons, aged six and three. They require a lot of attention and care, so I don't have much free time to be online.

提案: 질문에 대한 직접적인 답변이 부족하고, 내용이 반복적입니다. 인터넷이 없을 때 할 수 있는 구체적인 활동을 포함하여 답변을 확장하는 연습이 필요합니다.

例: Without the internet, I would spend more time with my two young sons, playing games and reading books with them, since they need a lot of attention and care.

× There are a special subject.

✓ There is a special subject.

The subject 'a special subject' is singular, so the verb should be 'is' instead of 'are' to agree in number.

× The in Korean. National Curricular.

✓ In the Korean National Curriculum.

The phrase needs correct preposition placement and article usage to form a proper noun phrase referring to the curriculum.

× Computer in elementary school regular in elementary schools, regular subject, so I learn.

✓ Computer is a regular subject in elementary school, so I learn it.

The sentence structure and adjective placement are incorrect; 'regular' should describe 'subject' and the sentence needs a verb to be complete.

× I go online. Everyday and every moment because myself mobile phone is connected to Wi-Fi or mobile data so.

✓ I go online every day and every moment because my mobile phone is connected to Wi-Fi or mobile data.

'Everyday' should be two words 'every day' when meaning each day; 'myself' is incorrect pronoun here; sentence structure improved for clarity.

× Whenever I have free time, I go to the. I usually check my. E-mail Ann. Scrolling.

✓ Whenever I have free time, I go online. I usually check my email and scroll.

Incomplete sentences and unclear phrases corrected to form complete and coherent sentences.

× There are. Korean national curriculum introduced a new subject.

✓ The Korean national curriculum introduced a new subject.

'There are' is unnecessary and incorrect here; the sentence should start with the subject 'The Korean national curriculum'.

× But although.

✓ Although.

'But' and 'although' serve similar functions; using both together is redundant and incorrect.

× I have two little son.

✓ I have two little sons.

The noun 'son' should be plural 'sons' to agree with 'two'; also 'little' is acceptable but 'young' might be better.

× My first son is 6 years old and the younger 1 is only three since they are.

✓ My first son is 6 years old and the younger one is only three since they are.

'1' should be spelled out as 'one' in formal speech; 'younger one' is the correct phrase.

× I don't have enough time to. Being the online.

✓ I don't have enough time to be online.

The infinitive form 'to be' is correct after 'enough time to'; 'being' is incorrect here.

× Because my children always requires a lot of attention and care.

✓ Because my children always require a lot of attention and care.

'Children' is plural, so the verb should be 'require' not 'requires'.

× My first son is 6 years old in the younger 1 is only three.

✓ My first son is 6 years old and the younger one is only three.

'in' should be 'and'; '1' should be spelled out as 'one'.

× They requires a lot of attention and care so I don't have enough time to spend.

✓ They require a lot of attention and care so I don't have enough time to spend.

'They' is plural, so the verb should be 'require' not 'requires'.