Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural. Start with a concise topic sentence directly answering the question, then add one specific reason using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid redundancy and long fragmented phrases.

例: Yes, I do. I believe science drives social progress because it boosts productivity and leads to important innovations. For example, medical research has dramatically increased life expectancy, which shows how science benefits everyone.

提案: Provide a clear time reference and use one or two specific supporting details. Use past tense consistently for past events and avoid filler words. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: I began learning about science when I was very young, around three or four years old. At that time I wanted to become a scientist, and that interest has stayed with me through school and university.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence, then give a specific reason and a linking phrase. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and avoid sentence fragments.

例: Mathematics interests me the most because I enjoy solving abstract problems and proving theorems. In fact, I am currently a postgraduate student in mathematics, and I am working towards a research career in this field.

提案: Be specific and confident: give a clear example and explain why it was interesting or important. Use correct verb forms and avoid hesitation phrases. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I have published several articles in international journals, which I find very rewarding. For example, I proved a theorem about nonlinear equations that helped clarify a difficult problem in my field, and presenting those results was very exciting.

提案: State your opinion briefly, then give one or two specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Choose precise vocabulary (e.g. 'convey' rather than 'conveyed') and avoid fragmented sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy science TV programs because they convey scientific ideas to the public in an accessible way. For instance, documentaries about space exploration inspired me to learn more about physics.

提案: Avoid vague or potentially offensive generalizations. If giving an opinion about a group, support it with a specific reason or a qualified statement and polite language. Use clear linking words and complete sentences.

例: In my opinion, many people in China do not visit science museums very often, possibly because they prefer leisure activities like shopping or because museum outreach is limited. However, attendance varies by city and age group.

× I think the steer of the progress of a human society is science, and it is science improve the productivity and new and innovations. To the world.

✓ I think the driver of human society's progress is science, and science improves productivity and brings new innovations to the world.

The original uses incorrect word 'steer' and awkward structure. 'Driver' is the correct metaphor. Subject-verb agreement requires 'science improves' (third person singular). 'Bring' should be 'brings' and 'new and innovations' is ungrammatical; correct phrase is 'new innovations' or 'new ideas and innovations'. Also combine the fragment 'To the world' into the main sentence. Suggestion: use a single clear sentence with correct noun choice and matching verb forms.

× When I was tiny young, I started to learn about science and when I was 3 or 4 years old, I want to be, uh, I want to be a scientist and still now I want to be the one too.

✓ When I was very young, I started to learn about science. When I was three or four years old, I wanted to be a scientist, and I still want to be one now.

Mixes past and present incorrectly. Use past tense 'wanted' for a desire in childhood. 'Tiny young' is incorrect collocation; use 'very young'. 'Still now' should be 'still' or 'now'. Maintain consistent tense: past for past events, present for current states. Also simplify redundant phrases.

× So I think for me, science is my faith to believe in.

✓ So I think for me, science is my faith.

The phrase 'faith to believe in' is redundant; 'faith' already implies belief and does not require 'to believe in' here. If you want the verb form, say 'something I believe in'. Better: 'science is my faith' or 'science is something I believe in'. Also 'for me' is acceptable but keep concise.

× The most interesting science subjects to me it's mathematic and I'm work on mathematics now I'm a post graduate student in mathematics and I'm. On the way to be.

✓ The most interesting science subject to me is mathematics, and I am working on mathematics now. I am a postgraduate student in mathematics and I am on my way to becoming a researcher.

Several issues: 'subjects' vs 'subject' and 'it's mathematic' is wrong; use singular 'subject' and 'mathematics' (uncountable). Subject-verb agreement: 'it is' becomes 'is'; 'I'm work' should be 'I am working' (present continuous). 'post graduate' should be 'postgraduate' (one word). 'On the way to be' is incorrect; use 'on my way to becoming' plus the target noun. Clarify the intended goal (researcher, professor, etc.).

× I can remember that clearly, but I think I have. I have been published several articles in the international journals, so I think the theorems and the proofs made by myself also make me feels very interesting.

✓ I can remember that clearly. I have published several articles in international journals, so I find the theorems and proofs I developed very interesting.

Broken sentence 'I think I have.' is incomplete. Use present perfect 'I have published' (not 'have been published' unless passive is intended). 'the international journals' should be 'international journals' (no definite article unless specifying). 'Made by myself' is awkward; use 'I developed' or 'I produced'. 'Make me feels' should be 'make me feel' or 'I find ... very interesting' (subject-verb agreement and correct verb form). Combine ideas into clear sentences.

× Yes, I like watching science TV programs because I think that's a good way to conveyed science spirits and and the theory to the public and it helps people to build the science. The framework.

✓ Yes, I like watching science TV programs because I think that's a good way to convey scientific spirit and theory to the public, and it helps people build a scientific framework.

Use base verb 'convey' (not past 'conveyed') after 'way to'. 'Science spirits' is incorrect; use 'scientific spirit' or 'science awareness'. Remove duplicate 'and'. 'Build the science. The framework.' is fragmented; combine to 'build a scientific framework'. Keep verbs and nouns in correct forms and avoid sentence fragments.

× No, I think Chinese people do not often visit science museums because they have a strong still have a strong sense of umm. Not so, uh, rational.

✓ No, I think Chinese people do not often visit science museums because they still have a strong sense of irrationality or are not very rational.

Original repeats 'have a strong still have a strong' which is redundant. 'Sense of not so rational' is ungrammatical. Use 'still have a strong sense of irrationality' or 'are not very rational'. Keep adjectives and nouns in correct order and avoid filler words. Be careful with generalizations about groups; consider softer phrasing like 'some people' or 'many people'.