Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答总体明确但存在语法和用词混乱、重复及冗长问题。建议：1) 开头用一句直接的主题句，例如“I learned to share from my parents.” 2) 用一两句具体举例支持（如分享零食或故事书），避免冗词与犹豫词（uh, umm）。3) 控制在3-4句内，注意单复数和固定搭配（“story books”而非“tale books on”）。

例: I learned to share from my parents. For example, they encouraged me to lend snacks or story books to my classmates when we played together. This habit became an important part of my values because it helped me build friendships and trust.

提案: 答案内容合适但语言不流畅，存在赘词、语法错误和重复。建议：1) 开门见山给出主题句，如“I usually share inexpensive, everyday items.” 2) 用具体例子并使用连接词（for example, such as）。3) 避免重复短语（不要说“daily daily”）和口头禅（uh, well）。

例: I usually share inexpensive, everyday items. For example, I often give my classmates snacks or lend small household items like chargers when they need them, because these things are easy to replace and help others immediately.

提案: 回答观点明确但表达不完整且含糊。建议：1) 用清晰的主题句，如“Expensive or personal items aren’t suitable for sharing.” 2) 给出具体原因并完整表达（例如容易遗失或损坏）。3) 用连接词（because, therefore）并避免停顿词和不完整句。

例: Expensive or personal items aren’t suitable for sharing because they can easily get lost or damaged and people may forget to return them. For instance, I wouldn’t lend my laptop or jewelry to friends since replacing them would be difficult.

提案: 答案包含重复和语法错误，句子结构混乱。建议：1) 简洁陈述近期行为：主句+原因。2) 修正时态和动词形式（wanted to take, I shared）。3) 删除多余重复和语音填充词，增加一句结果或感受以丰富内容。

例: Recently I shared my digital camera with my sister because she wanted to take photos in the park. I was happy to lend it to her, and she later showed me the pictures she took.

提案: 回答思路清楚但有语法和表达小错误。建议：1) 首句直接回答并用简洁理由支持（e.g. close relationship, support）。2) 纠正语法（“a close relationship”，“when I get”）。3) 用连接词将原因与例子连贯起来，控制句子数量。

例: I would share good news with my parents first because we have a close relationship and they always support me. For example, when I get good exam results or achieve something important, I tell them right away so we can celebrate together.

提案: 答案内容方向正确但语法错误和表达混乱。建议：1) 用主题句说明你分享的新闻类型（funny or informative content）。2) 提供具体例子并说明目的（to discuss or entertain）。3) 避免语音停顿和重复，注意主谓一致（I share）。

例: I usually share light-hearted or interesting news with my friends, such as funny videos or interesting articles. We share these to make each other laugh and to start conversations about topics we find interesting.

× When I was a child, my parents always told me that I should share my things with my friends, like snacks or the tale books on or something else.

✓ When I was a child, my parents always told me that I should share my things with my friends, like snacks or story books or other things.

原句中“the tale books on or something else”结构混乱且用词不当。需要使用名词短语“story books”并且列举时用“or other things”来表示“或者其他东西”。此外去掉多余的介词“on”。建议学习如何正确列举并使用简洁的名词短语。

× Well for me I think I prefer to share something that's not uh, expensive to others then, such as snacks or some daily daily things with to each other.

✓ Well, for me I think I prefer to share things that aren't expensive with others, such as snacks or daily necessities.

原句中代词和短语顺序混乱："share something that's not expensive to others then"和"with to each other"都是错误搭配。应使用“share things that aren't expensive with others”。“daily daily things”重复，应改为“daily necessities”。建议注意动词短语“share ... with ...”的正确结构，并避免重复词。

× Well, I think, umm, some expensive things are definitely uh, not suit for sharing with each other because I think sometimes others may forget, uh, to, uh, forget to send the.

✓ Well, I think some expensive things are definitely not suitable for sharing because sometimes other people may forget to return them.

原句中动词短语和介词使用错误：应使用“not suitable for”，而不是“not suit for”。短语“sharing with each other”在此可简化为“sharing”。句末“forget to send the.”不完整，应为“forget to return them”。建议学习形容词“suitable for”的用法以及常见动词搭配如“return”。

× Well, recently I shared my digital camera for with my hmm, well, recently I shared my digital camera with my sister because she wanted to took some, uh, take some photos in the park and and I'm glad to share the share the camera with. Hi.

✓ Well, recently I shared my digital camera with my sister because she wanted to take some photos in the park, and I'm glad to share the camera with her.

原句中介词和动词形式错误：应使用“shared ... with ...”（不是“for with”），且动词应为不带过去式“take”（与shared并列用不定式或原形），应为“wanted to take”。句尾缺少宾语“her”。建议注意“share ... with ...”的固定搭配，和“want to do sth”结构。

× Well, I think I will share my good news with my parents at first because we have a close relationships with each other. So, uh, when I got some uh, achievements or get some good scores, I would first share the with them.

✓ Well, I think I will share my good news with my parents first because we have a close relationship. So when I get some achievements or get good scores, I would first share them with them.

原句中“relationships”应为单数“relationship”。“at first”在此可改为“first”。时态不一致，“when I got ... or get ...”应该统为一般现在时“when I get ...”以表示习惯或将来情形。句尾缺少宾语，应为“share them with them”。建议注意名词单复数和时态一致性，以及代词指代要明确。

× Well, I always shares something fun with my friends, especially that for that's, that funny videos or some, uh, knowledgeable things for them so that we can talk about, uh, this news together and, and, uh.

✓ Well, I always share something fun with my friends, especially funny videos or interesting/knowledgeable things, so that we can talk about the news together.

原句中主语是“I”，动词不应加-s，正确为“I always share”。另外“that for that's, that funny videos”冗余且结构混乱，应简化为“especially funny videos or knowledgeable things”。建议复习第三人称单数动词变形规则（仅He/She/It用-s），并练习简洁列举。