Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar, and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb choices (ride, not write), reduce hesitations, and add one specific supporting detail. Use a linking word to connect the incident (e.g., “but” or “so”). Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I had a pink bike when I was a child. I rode it almost every day, but one day a friend borrowed it and it broke, so I couldn’t ride it for a long time.

提案: Improve fluency and variety of vocabulary, and tighten structure. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give two specific reasons using linking words (for example, “because” and “therefore”). Replace repetitive phrases (e.g., “for bikes”) and avoid filler words like “like.”

例: No, I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country because there are few dedicated bike lanes and traffic can be dangerous. Therefore, most people use bikes only for exercise or leisure rather than daily commuting.

× 'it was pink and I wrote it almost everyday, but uh, when my friend came and she wrote it and it was broken so I couldn't, uh, wrote it.'

✓ 'It was pink and I rode it almost every day, but when my friend came and rode it, it broke so I couldn\'t ride it.'

'Errors: incorrect verb forms and agreement with subject and tense. "wrote" is wrong word; correct verb is "rode" (past of ride). "everyday" is an adjective, use "every day" as adverbial phrase. "it was broken so I couldn\'t wrote it" mixes passive and wrong base form; use "it broke so I couldn\'t ride it." Suggestion: use accurate past tense verbs: rode/broke; use "every day" for frequency.'

× 'I definitely don't think bikes are popular in our country because we don't have bike roads for bikes so many people could not use it in their daily life, only for like hobbies or exercise but not like daily transportation.'

✓ 'I definitely don\'t think bikes are popular in our country because we don\'t have bike lanes, so many people cannot use them in their daily lives; they are only used for hobbies or exercise, not as daily transportation.'

'Errors: present tense and agreement with plural nouns/pronouns. "bike roads for bikes" is redundant; use "bike lanes." "could not use it" mixes modal with singular pronoun for plural noun; use "cannot use them" and "daily lives." Also improve wording: "only for hobbies or exercise, not as daily transportation." Suggestion: keep present simple for general statements and match plural nouns with plural pronouns.'