Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy, tense consistency, clarity and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, correct verb forms, and avoid redundant phrases. Use one or two specific supporting details and a linking word to make the answer coherent.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I rode it almost every day, and I was especially proud because I assembled it myself, so I often rode it to visit my friends. Because I built it, I felt a strong sense of achievement.

提案: Work on grammar (passive/active voice), sentence structure and clarity. Use linking words to structure reasons and give specific supporting details (time frames, effects). Keep answers concise and use correct tense for past events and present facts.

例: Yes, bikes became more popular in my country during the pandemic because the government encouraged people to avoid crowded public transport. As a result, I even opened a bicycle shop in my province, which operated successfully for two to three years before demand declined.

× Yes, I do have a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

The question asks about the past ('when you were a child'), so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Do have' is present tense and doesn't match the time frame. Use 'had' to match the past reference. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time expression (e.g., when I was a child -> I had).

× I always ride it almost every day when I was young and I like to boost my back to bike to my friends because I am the one who assembled it.

✓ I rode it almost every day when I was young, and I liked to boast to my friends because I was the one who assembled it.

Several tense inconsistencies: 'ride' and 'like' are present but the time frame is past ('when I was young'), so use past forms 'rode' and 'liked'. 'Boost my back to bike to my friends' is incorrect phrasing; the correct verb is 'boast' (to show off) and preposition 'to' with 'friends' is appropriate. 'I am the one who assembled it' should be past 'I was the one who assembled it' to match past time. Suggestion: keep all verbs in the past when referring to past habits or actions.

× So it's I'm really proud of that moment.

✓ So I was really proud of that moment.

Mixed contractions and tense: 'it's I'm' is ungrammatical. The sentence refers to a past moment, so use past tense 'I was really proud'. Also remove redundant contractions. Suggestion: use a single clear clause matching the tense of the context.

× Yes, during the pandemic, the bikes are encouraged by our government.

✓ Yes, during the pandemic, bikes were encouraged by our government.

The time reference 'during the pandemic' is past, so passive verb should be past tense 'were encouraged' rather than present 'are encouraged'. Also 'the bikes' can be generalized to 'bikes'. Suggestion: align passive verb tense with the time frame.

× It is push to use this as a mode of transportation when you are when you're about to go to work.

✓ The government pushed people to use them as a mode of transportation when going to work.

'It is push' is incorrect passive/active form; use past 'pushed' to match pandemic timeframe. 'This' is vague; use 'them' or 'bikes'. 'When you are when you're about to go to work' is redundant—use 'when going to work'. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb structure and concise phrasing.

× I actually opened a bicycle shop in our province and that business lasts for almost two to three years and but first it was good.

✓ I actually opened a bicycle shop in our province, and that business lasted for almost two to three years; at first it was good.

Tense mismatch: 'opened' is past, so 'lasts' should be past 'lasted'. 'And but' is redundant—use a single conjunction. 'First' should be 'at first' to indicate the initial period. Suggestion: keep past tense consistent and use appropriate connectors ('at first', 'but later') for contrast.