Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, correct vocabulary (e.g. 'I had a bike', 'my friend helped me', 'put a foot on the pedal'), and avoid unnecessary repetition. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and add a brief specific detail (where or how you practiced). Use linking words like 'then' or 'after that' to show sequence.

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. I started learning to ride when I was six, and my friend helped me by steadying the seat and running alongside me. After a few tries, I managed to balance and pedal on my own in the park near my house.

提案: Make your response concise and directly answer the question. Use present tense to state your opinion (e.g. 'Yes, bikes are popular') and provide specific reasons and examples. Correct phrases ('in my province of Pangasinan', 'go to school', 'buy groceries') and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to connect reasons.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in my province of Pangasinan. For example, many children use bikes to ride to school, and adults often use them for quick trips to the market because they are cheap and convenient.

× Yes, I do have a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

The question asks about possession in the past ('Did you have a bike when you were a child?'), so the student should use past tense 'had' not present 'do have'. Use past simple to match the time reference. Suggestion: Use past simple for states or possessions that existed in the past (I had, I lived, I owned).

× When I was a child, I was six years old when I started to practice to learn to ride a bike.

✓ When I was a child, I was six years old when I started to learn how to ride a bike.

Redundant verbs 'practice to learn' are awkward and mix forms. Use 'started to learn' or 'started learning'; add 'how to' for clarity. Keep past tense 'started' to match 'was'. Suggestion: Use 'started to learn' or 'started learning' followed by 'how to' for skills (started to learn how to ride a bike).

× What I did was one of my friends guided me and then once one of my food stamp on it and until I get my balance.

✓ What happened was that one of my friends guided me, and then someone pushed me on it until I got my balance.

Sentence has pronoun and vocabulary errors: 'What I did was' is awkward here; 'What happened was that' fits better. 'One of my food stamp' is incorrect word choice; likely intended 'someone pushed me' or 'one of my friends gave me a push'. 'Until I get my balance' mixes present with past—use past 'got'. Suggestion: Use clear subject words (someone, a friend) and keep verb tenses consistent in narrative (past simple). Replace incorrect nouns with correct verbs (pushed, gave me a push).

× One of the transportation news in our country, specifically in our province in Pangasinan is bike bike.

✓ Bicycles are a common means of transport in our country, especially in my province of Pangasinan.

Original has incorrect noun phrase 'transportation news' and repetition 'bike bike'; word order and collocation are wrong. Use plural 'bicycles' and a natural collocation 'means of transport' or 'mode of transportation'. Suggestion: Use 'Bicycles are common' or 'Bicycles are a common means of transport' and specify location with 'especially in my province of Pangasinan'.

× It was used by children when they want to go to their school and they want to buy something in the groceries and everything.

✓ They were used by children when they wanted to go to school and when they wanted to buy something at the grocery store.

Tense inconsistency: narrative about past uses should use past 'wanted'. 'Their school' is unnecessary; 'go to school' is idiomatic. 'Buy something in the groceries' is incorrect preposition and noun form; use 'at the grocery store' or 'buy groceries'. Suggestion: Maintain past tense for past habits and use correct collocations: 'go to school', 'buy something at the grocery store' or 'buy groceries'.

× Also the bike is also one of the most convenient transportation in during that time because.

✓ Also, the bicycle was one of the most convenient forms of transportation at that time because ...

Problems: redundant 'also' twice and incorrect 'in during that time'; use 'at that time'. 'Bike' as generic should be 'the bicycle' or plural 'bicycles'. Sentence ends incomplete; needs a reason after 'because'. Suggestion: Avoid redundancy, use 'was' for past reference and complete the sentence by giving the reason (e.g., because it was cheap and easy to use).