Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar (use past tense consistently), be more concise and natural, and add one brief supporting detail. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific detail using a linking word. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was in high school. It was a small blue bicycle that I used to ride to school and to visit friends. Because it was reliable and cheap to run, I used it almost every day.

提案: Clarify vocabulary (use 'popular' not 'published'), avoid filler words, and organize ideas with linking words. Give one or two specific reasons with concise phrasing and a clear topic sentence. Use accurate collocations (e.g., 'daily-use item' or 'daily means of transport').

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient. For example, many people use bicycles for short commutes and running errands, especially in crowded cities where traffic is bad.

× Yeah, I have a bike when I was in my high school.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was in high school.

The speaker mixes present tense 'have' with the past time reference 'when I was in my high school.' Use the past tense 'had' to match the past time frame. Also drop the unnecessary article 'my' before 'high school' in general reference. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for past events (I had a bike when I was in high school).

× Yes, I think bikes are published in my country because there's a lot of reason for being popular in our country.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because there are many reasons they are popular here.

The verb 'published' is incorrect; 'popular' is the correct adjective. 'There's a lot of reason' is incorrect agreement and word choice: use 'there are many reasons' (plural) or 'there is a lot of reason' is unnatural. Also avoid repeating 'in our country' and 'in my country'—use one consistent phrase. Suggestion: replace 'published' with 'popular', use plural 'reasons', and simplify wording ('there are many reasons they are popular here').

× But the first of all is like, uh, bike is a like a bicycle is a like a, a daily use of thing.

✓ First of all, a bicycle is a daily-use item.

This sentence has multiple issues: incorrect word order and article use. Use 'First of all' to introduce a point. 'Bike' is informal but 'a bicycle' requires the indefinite article 'a'. 'Daily-use item' is a concise, correct noun phrase; 'daily use of thing' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: simplify and use correct article and noun Collocation ('a bicycle is a daily-use item').

× And with the help of bicycle, we travel.

✓ And with the help of a bicycle, we travel/And with the help of a bicycle, we can travel.

Missing article before 'bicycle': use 'a bicycle'. The sentence is grammatical once the article is added, but adding 'can' makes the ability clearer. 'With the help of a bicycle, we travel' is acceptable but sound more natural as 'we can travel' or 'we can commute.' Suggestion: include the article and consider adding 'can' for clarity.