Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and naturalness. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid tense errors and be concise. Add one or two brief supporting details (reason or memory) using a linking word. Keep under 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child. I got it when I was seven, and I remember learning to ride in the park near my house. Because my parents were busy, my older brother helped me practice every weekend.

提案: Be more complete and fluent. Begin with a clear opinion, use linking words to explain reasons, and provide specific details or examples. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and repeating phrases. Keep it to 1–3 sentences and use concrete contrasts (e.g., between city and rural areas) if relevant.

例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my city. For example, in Hong Kong many people prefer public transport because streets are crowded and hilly, so cycling is less convenient. However, cycling is more common in suburban areas where there is more space.

× I don't have a bike when I'm a child.

✓ I didn't have a bike when I was a child.

The student used present tense ('don't have', 'I'm') while the question asks about the past. This is a present vs past tense error. Use past simple ('didn't have', 'was') for completed past conditions. Suggestion: Use past simple verbs when talking about past situations (subject + did/didn't + base verb; was/were for 'to be').

× I think bikes are not very popular in my city, but uh, because I think as I live in Hong Kong, there are a lot of uh.

✓ I don't think bikes are very popular in my city because, as I live in Hong Kong, there are a lot of public transport options.

The original sentence has awkward tense and structure: mixing 'I think' with 'are not' is acceptable but word order and connectors are incorrect ('but because' is redundant). Also the clause 'as I live in Hong Kong' should explain the reason, and the sentence was left unfinished. This is primarily a sentence structure and present-tense clarity problem. Suggestion: Use a single logical connector ('because' or 'as'), avoid redundant conjunctions, complete the reason, and keep present simple for general truths ('are', 'live').