Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 어색하고 시제 일관성이 부족합니다. 먼저 주제문으로 명확히 답하고, 이어서 간단한 연결어(예: because, so, and)를 사용해 이유와 구체적 상황(색깔, 누가 가르쳤는지, 기억나는 순간)을 2~3문장으로 자연스럽게 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 반복을 피하고 과거 시제(past tense)를 유지하세요.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small blue bicycle that was my favorite, and my father taught me how to ride it. Because he practiced with me in the park every weekend, I quickly learned and remember those fun moments clearly.

提案: 의견 제시는 했지만 표현이 불명확하고 어휘 선택·문장 구조에 오류가 많습니다. 먼저 직접적으로 'Yes'나 'No'로 시작한 후 이유를 두세 문장으로 구체적으로 설명하세요. 연결어(especially, because, for example)를 사용하고 고유명사나 제도는 정확히 말하거나 일반적인 표현으로 대체하세요.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular. For example, many cities have public bike-sharing systems, so people often use bicycles to commute to work or run errands. They are especially common in urban areas where traffic and parking are difficult.

× Yes, I have a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

The question asks about the past ('Did you have a bike when you were a child?'), so the student should use past tense. Using present tense 'have' is inconsistent with the time frame. Suggestion: use past simple 'had' to match 'when you were a child.'

× When I was a child, the blue bike, blue one my favorite, and my dad taught me how to ride a bike with that.

✓ When I was a child, the blue bike was my favorite, and my dad taught me how to ride it.

The original sentence has fragmented and misplaced elements and lacks the verb 'was' for the description. Use 'was' to describe a past state and replace the redundant phrase 'blue one my favorite' with 'was my favorite.' Also replace 'ride a bike with that' with 'ride it' for clarity and natural pronoun reference. Suggestion: form a complete clause with subject + verb + complement and use a pronoun 'it' to refer to the bike.

× My favorite blue bicycle.

✓ My favorite was the blue bicycle.

This fragment lacks a finite verb and is not a complete sentence. To express the idea in the past, include the verb 'was' and an article: 'My favorite was the blue bicycle.' Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments by including a verb and clear subject.

× Uh, I I think yes, especially as though there is public bicycle named Daruni everyone in living in soldiers those bikes as a transportation of going or work.

✓ Uh, I think so. In my country there is a public bicycle system called Daruni, and many people use those bikes to get to work or to go around.

The original uses present tense in parts but has many structural and word choice problems; 'I I think yes' should be 'I think so.' 'As though there is' is awkward; use 'there is' for existence. 'Public bicycle named Daruni' needs an article and clearer phrase: 'a public bicycle system called Daruni.' 'Everyone in living in soldiers' is unintelligible; likely intended 'many people' or 'people of all ages.' 'Those bikes as a transportation of going or work' should be 'use those bikes to get to work or to go around.' Suggestion: simplify with clear present-tense statements about a current system and use infinitive 'to' + verb for purpose.