Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변은 자연스럽고 기억을 불러일으키는 디테일이 있어 좋습니다. 다만 길이가 약간 길고 문장이 연결될 때 연결어를 사용하면 더 명확해집니다. 또한 ‘‘one of my favorite activities’’ 대신 구체적인 이유(예: 바람을 느끼는 것, 아버지와의 시간)나 짧은 비교를 추가하면 내용이 더 풍부해집니다. 문장 수는 3~4문장으로 유지하고 불필요한 반복을 피하세요.

例: Yes, I had a small pink bike when I was in kindergarten. I often rode it around the park near my house with my father, and I loved it because I could feel the wind and spend time with him. As a result, those rides were one of my favorite childhood activities.

提案: 문장이 문법적으로 완성되지 않았고 중복 표현이 있습니다(‘when I.’이 끊김). 답변은 직접적인 주제 문장으로 시작하고, 이유나 예시를 한두 문장으로 덧붙여야 합니다. 연결어(for example, because, therefore 등)를 사용해 논리적 흐름을 만들고, 구체적인 증거(예: 자전거 도로, 통근용 자전거 비율, 주말 공원 풍경)를 포함하면 점수가 올라갑니다.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short journeys and exercise. For example, there are dedicated bike lanes in cities and I often see people cycling to work or riding with their families in parks on weekends.

× I think bicycles are quite common in my country when I. Walking in the park near my house, I see a lot of bikes.

✓ I think bicycles are quite common in my country. When I walk in the park near my house, I see a lot of bikes.

The original contains a sentence fragment 'when I.' and an incorrect use of a participial phrase 'Walking in the park...' attached to the previous fragment, causing a sentence structure error. Split into two complete sentences and use the simple present 'walk' for habitual action to match the first clause. Suggestions: ensure each clause has a subject and main verb, avoid sentence fragments, and use base/present tense for habitual actions (e.g., 'When I walk...').