Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp và mạch lạc hơn, bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng rồi mới nêu lý do. Tránh lặp từ và câu rời rạc; dùng liên từ để nối ý (for example, because, so). Thêm chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: ai quyết định, ở bao nhiêu tuổi) để làm câu trả lời đáng tin hơn. Giữ độ dài tối đa 4-5 câu, ngữ pháp đơn giản nhưng chính xác.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. My parents thought I wasn’t steady enough to ride on the road, so they didn’t buy one for me. Instead, I learned to ride a tricycle in the neighborhood until I was older. I remember being seven when I finally felt confident enough to try a real bike.

提案: Cần tổ chức câu rõ ràng: nêu quan điểm trực tiếp, sau đó giải thích với lý do và ví dụ cụ thể. Tránh ngập ngừng và các cụm từ không chính xác (ví dụ: "ready by"). Dùng từ vựng phù hợp (commute, exercise, daily habit) và liên từ (because, for example, therefore) để làm cho câu mạch lạc hơn. Giữ 2–4 câu rõ ràng.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in Vietnam. Many people cycle in the morning for exercise and short trips because it is cheap and convenient. For example, I often see commuters and students riding bikes to work or school, especially in smaller cities.

× Well, then I guess because where was the little girl? It has been for a long time and maybe I don't remember clearly, but I'm, I think when I was a child, I don't have a bike.

✓ Well, I guess it's been a long time and I don't remember clearly, but I think when I was a child I didn't have a bike.

The original contains confusing fragments and incorrect tense and word order. 'Where was the little girl?' is irrelevant and should be removed. 'It has been for a long time' is awkward; use 'it's been a long time' or 'it's been a long time since then'. The clause 'when I was a child, I don't have a bike' mixes past context with present tense 'don't'; change to past tense 'didn't'. Improve cohesion by reordering to a clear main clause followed by the reason. Suggestions: remove irrelevant fragments, use correct past tense for childhood actions, and use natural time expressions like 'it's been a long time'.

× I didn't have a bike because my parents didn't believe that I can control.

✓ I didn't have a bike because my parents didn't believe that I could control it.

The main clause is past tense ('didn't have'), so the subordinate clause should use a past form as well. 'Can' is present modal; use 'could' for past ability/possibility. Also include the object 'it' to clarify what 'control' refers to. Suggestion: match tense between clauses and include necessary objects for clarity.

× Yeah, of course in my country Vietnam, we, we are ready by for every morning to improve our health and maybe it's becomes our habits or our daily life actually.

✓ Yeah, of course in my country, Vietnam, we are ready every morning to improve our health, and maybe it has become a habit or part of our daily life.

Multiple issues: unnecessary filler 'by' is incorrect; 'are ready every morning' is acceptable but 'ready by for every morning' is ungrammatical. 'It's becomes' mixes present contraction with wrong verb form; use 'it has become' or 'it has become a habit'. Use singular 'a habit' rather than plural 'habits' after 'become'. Also 'our daily life' is better phrased 'part of our daily life'. Suggestions: remove extra fillers, use correct verb forms (has become), and use natural collocations like 'a habit' and 'part of daily life'.