Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, correct verb forms and nouns, and add one specific supporting detail. Keep it concise (1–3 sentences) and logical. For example, say you had a bike, who bought it, and one memory or description. Use linking words if adding details (e.g., “and,” “because,” “so”).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father bought it for me, and I remember learning to ride it in the park near our house because he held the seat until I felt steady.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with a specific reason or example and use linking words to make it coherent. Avoid absolute statements like “all people.” Be accurate with count/degree words (e.g., “many people” or “a lot of people”).

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for short trips to save money and avoid traffic. For instance, I see numerous commuters cycling to work every morning on the main road.

× Yes, I had a punch when I wear it when I wear a chart and my father bought it for me.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and my father bought it for me.

The sentence contains several pronoun and vocabulary errors and tense mismatch. 'punch' and 'chart' are incorrect words in this context and should be 'bike' and 'child'. 'when I wear it when I wear a chart' is incorrect: 'wear' is the wrong verb (means to put on clothes) and the structure is confusing. Use past tense 'was' with 'child' to match the time frame 'had'. Also remove the redundant clause. Suggestion: use simple past for past situations ('I had a bike when I was a child') and keep pronouns consistent ('my father bought it for me').

× I think bikes are popular in my country and all people are almost using it.

✓ I think bikes are popular in my country and almost everyone uses them.

There is incorrect pronoun and quantifier use and subject-verb agreement issue. 'all people are almost using it' is unnatural: 'all people' should be 'almost everyone' and 'using it' should match plural 'bikes' -> use plural pronoun 'them'. Also replace progressive 'are using' with simple present 'uses' to state a general fact. Suggestion: use 'almost everyone uses them' for general statements about habits.