Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “No, I didn’t own a bike as a child.”), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (past tense, possessive forms) and avoid redundancy. Aim for 2–4 sentences, use specific details such as how often you borrowed the bike and where you rode it.

例: No, I didn’t own a bike when I was a child. However, I often borrowed my cousin’s bike and rode it around our neighborhood at weekends. Sometimes we also cycled to the nearby countryside, which was fun and made me feel independent.

提案: Give a clear opinion then support it with specific reasons and examples. Remove fillers like “umm” and correct awkward phrasing. Use linking words (for example, because, for instance) and provide concrete details about how bikes are used (commuting, sport, leisure) and where races or events happen.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in the Philippines. For example, many people use bicycles for short commutes and weekend exercise, and there are regular cycling races and community rides that attract large crowds.

× Actually, I don't have or own a bike when I was a child, but I have a cousin who has a bike where I can borrow with it and strolling around in our neighborhood or in the other city or countryside and that's that.

✓ Actually, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but I had a cousin who had a bike that I could borrow to stroll around our neighborhood or travel to another town or the countryside.

The sentence mixes present tense with past context. Use past tense 'didn't have' and 'had' for childhood. 'Can borrow' should be changed to 'could borrow' for past ability. 'Where I can borrow with it' is ungrammatical; use 'that I could borrow' and use 'to stroll' (infinitive) rather than 'strolling' to indicate purpose. Also replace 'in the other city' with 'another town' for natural phrasing. Suggestions: keep tense consistent (past) when talking about childhood, use correct relative clause 'that I could borrow', and use infinitive for purpose verbs.

× Yes, because here in the Philippines, umm, they have a racing where which they use for bikes and it's popular because it's a competition.

✓ Yes, in the Philippines there are bike races, and they are popular because they are competitions.

The original has awkward structure and incorrect words: 'they have a racing where which they use for bikes' is ungrammatical. Use plural 'races' for events (singular 'racing' is a gerund). 'There are' is appropriate for existence of races. Replace vague pronoun 'they' with clear subject 'bike races' or 'they' after noun. Keep present tense since this is a general statement. Suggestions: say 'There are bike races' or 'Bike racing is popular' and use consistent, clear subjects and verbs.