Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and fluent: state clearly whether you had a bike, give one or two specific reasons, use linking words, avoid fillers and repetition, and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Mention a brief detail about current intention if relevant.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because the weather was very hot where I lived, so my parents preferred I stay indoors. As a result, I never learned to ride. Now I want to learn because I think cycling would be a healthy and practical way to get around.

提案: Provide a clearer opinion with specific reasons and use linking words to connect ideas. Replace hesitations with precise vocabulary (e.g., "popular", "common", "public transport") and give an example or brief comparison to support your view, keeping it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country because the climate is hot for most of the year, which makes cycling uncomfortable. In addition, many people prefer cars or public transport since these options are faster and more comfortable. For example, commuters in my city usually take buses or drive rather than cycle to work.

× Actually, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because umm umm.

✓ Actually, I didn't have a bike when I was a child.

Redundant fillers 'umm umm' are not grammatical errors but disrupt fluency; sentence correctly uses past tense negative 'didn't have' so remove fillers for clarity and formality.

× I wouldn't learn because the sun is so hot and I can't go play outside.

✓ I wouldn't learn because the sun was so hot and I couldn't play outside.

The original mixes conditional/modal 'would' with past context; use past tense 'was' and 'couldn't' to match the past timeframe. Use 'couldn't play outside' rather than 'can't go play outside' for past reference.

× And I now I have, I want to, I want to learn.

✓ And now I want to learn.

Original has repetition and an incorrect present perfect 'I have' used unnecessarily. Simplify to present 'I want to learn' to express current desire; remove redundant words for clarity.

× No, I don't think so.

✓ No, I don't think so.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present tense; no change needed. It expresses the speaker's current opinion appropriately.

× Uh, because the weather is too hot and sunny most of the year.

✓ Because the weather is so hot and sunny for most of the year.

Use 'so' instead of 'too' to state a general condition; add 'for' before 'most of the year' to indicate duration.

× Maybe, uh, a lot of people would like to make their star transport in public transportation or in, uh, their cars because, uh, it is more comfortable.

✓ Maybe a lot of people prefer to use public transportation or their cars because it is more comfortable.

Original uses 'would like to make their star transport' which is incorrect phrasing. Use 'prefer to use' or 'choose' + noun 'public transportation' or 'their cars'. Remove filler words. 'It is more comfortable' correctly explains reason.