Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: start with a simple topic sentence saying whether you had a bike, then give 1–2 specific supporting details (when, how you used it, who with) using correct tense and smoother vocabulary. Avoid filler sounds (uh, umm) and repetition. Use linking words (for example, and, so) to make the answer coherent. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I had a bicycle when I was in secondary school, and I rode it to school every day. For example, I used to cycle to class with my grandmother, which was convenient and enjoyable. It helped me get exercise and saved time.

提案: Answer directly then give clear reasons with specific details and linking words. State your opinion in one sentence, then add 1–2 reasons (e.g., affordability, convenience, environment). Use plural/singular correctly and avoid filler words. Keep answers concise and logical.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country. This is because they are affordable and convenient for short journeys, especially for children and older people. In addition, many people prefer bikes for exercise and to avoid traffic during rush hour.

× Yes, uh, when I, when I was shy, I have a buy uh, uh, when I study in a secondary school, every day I will go to by TRA bike by to school and umm with my grandma.

✓ Yes. When I was young, I had a bike. When I studied in secondary school, I went to school by bike every day with my grandma.

Multiple tense and word-choice errors: 'shy' is incorrect word choice for 'young' (vocabulary), 'I have a buy' uses present tense and incorrect words instead of past possession ('had a bike'), 'when I study' should be past 'when I studied' to match 'when I was young', and 'every day I will go' uses incorrect future-like modal 'will' instead of past 'went'. Also word order and extraneous words like 'TRA' and 'by to' are incorrect. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for past events, choose correct vocabulary (young, bike), and use correct preposition 'by bike' and simple past 'went'.

× Uh yes, I think bike are popular in my country because uh, uh, have many uh, children, uh, need the need back and by our uh, convenient for children and grand old order all person.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because many children need them and they are convenient for children and older people.

Errors include subject-verb agreement and pluralization: 'bike are' should be 'bikes are' or 'a bike is' (use plural 'bikes' with 'are'). 'have many children' is ungrammatical for intended meaning; should be 'many children need them'. 'grand old order all person' is incorrect vocabulary and order — intended meaning is 'older people'. Also 'convenient for children and older people' requires the adjective 'convenient' describing 'them'. Suggestion: use correct plural forms, ensure subject and verb agree, replace unclear phrases with standard vocabulary ('older people'), and keep sentence structure clear.'