Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy, fluency and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g. "when I was a child", "brought"→"bought"), and avoid repetition. Use one or two supporting details with linking words (e.g. "I remember that...", "because...") and keep to 2–4 sentences. Vary vocabulary (fond → loved, ride instead of drive for bikes).

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was a child. My father bought me a pink bike, and I loved riding it every day with my younger brother because it felt free and fun.

提案: Make the response more coherent and grammatical. Begin with a direct statement, then give specific reasons and use linking words (e.g. "because", "for example"). Avoid unclear phrases ("on bias", "too remote"). Be specific about who uses bikes and why (commuting, leisure, affordability). Keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because people of all ages use them. For example, children ride bikes for fun, teenagers use them to get around school and friends, and many adults cycle to commute or save money on transport.

× Yes, I used to have a bike when I was child.

✓ Yes, I used to have a bike when I was a child.

Missing article 'a' before 'child'. The phrase 'when I was a child' requires the indefinite article. Add 'a' to be grammatically correct.

× My father used to bring that for me.

✓ My father used to bring it for me.

The demonstrative 'that' is awkward referring to the bike; 'it' is the correct pronoun for a previously mentioned object. Use 'it' for clarity and naturalness.

× As as far as I remembered, my father bought me a pink coloured bike which I was really fond of driving every day with my younger brother.

✓ As far as I remember, my father bought me a pink-coloured bike, which I was really fond of riding every day with my younger brother.

Multiple issues: 'As as' has a duplication error; use 'As far as I remember' (present simple for general recollection). 'Remembered' (past) is less natural here. Use 'pink-coloured' with a hyphen as a compound adjective. Use 'riding' not 'driving' for a bike. Also add a comma before the relative clause for clarity.

× Yes, bikes are really popular in my country. If I would say not only just the toddlers but the youngsters and the adults.

✓ Yes, bikes are really popular in my country. I would say not only toddlers but also youngsters and adults use them.

The original second sentence is a fragment and has incorrect conditional structure 'If I would say'. Replace with 'I would say' and complete the sentence. Use 'not only... but also' for correlative conjunctions and add 'use them' to complete the idea.

× Means every age person is on bias today because it is.

✓ I mean people of every age are biased towards bikes today because they are convenient.

'Means' is incorrect; use 'I mean' to explain. 'Every age person' should be 'people of every age'. 'On bias' is ungrammatical; 'biased towards' is correct. Also add a clear reason 'because they are convenient' to complete the thought.

× I think for toddlers it's just for fun and for teenagers it is just too remote anywhere.

✓ I think for toddlers it's just for fun, and for teenagers it's mainly a way to get around locally.

Original 'too remote anywhere' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with 'a way to get around locally' to convey that teenagers use bikes for local transport. Add a comma and use parallel structure 'for toddlers... and for teenagers...'. 'Mainly' clarifies frequency or primary use.