Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and tells a clear story, but it's a bit long and slightly redundant. To improve, start with a brief topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two concise supporting details. Use a linking word to connect ideas and avoid repeating the same point (e.g., 'so' used twice). Also reduce colloquial phrases like 'a tad' if you want a more formal tone for IELTS. Aim for 2–4 sentences total.

例: Yes, I did not have my own bike as a child, because my parents thought I was too clumsy to ride safely. Instead, I usually borrowed my older brother’s bike and practiced with him in the park until I felt confident.

提案: Your response directly answers the question and gives a reason, which is good. To improve coherence and conciseness, use clearer linking phrases (e.g., 'especially during') and avoid wordy expressions like 'had nothing to do' or 'in their hands.' Give one specific example or brief statistic if possible. Keep sentences shorter and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, and their use increased, especially during the pandemic. People turned to cycling for exercise and as a safe outdoor activity, which led to more bike sales and new cycling groups forming in many cities.

× As someone who is a tad uncoordinated and clumsy, my parents did not trust me enough to buy me my own bike.

✓ Because I was a tad uncoordinated and clumsy, my parents did not trust me enough to buy me my own bike.

The original sentence begins with a dangling modifier: 'As someone who is a tad uncoordinated and clumsy' appears to modify the speaker, but the grammatical subject immediately following is 'my parents', causing a mismatch. Rewriting the clause to explicitly refer to the speaker ('Because I was...') fixes the reference and clarifies who is uncoordinated. Suggestion: start the sentence with 'Because I was...' or 'Since I was...' to ensure the subject is clear. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× So as a child I would borrow my brother's bike and that was what I used in order to learn how to ride a bike.

✓ So as a child I would borrow my brother's bike, and that was what I used to learn how to ride a bike.

There is no major singular/plural noun error, but the phrase 'used in order to learn' is wordy and slightly awkward. Replacing 'used in order to learn' with 'used to learn' is more natural. Also adding a comma before the conjunction improves sentence flow. Suggestion: use concise infinitive constructions ('used to learn'). Grammar problem type ID: 1

× I'd say yes, bikes are a popular thing in my country and it especially had a bit of a boom during the pandemic when people had nothing to do and had a lot of spare time in their hands and that they decided to use it as an opportunity to be more healthy.

✓ I'd say yes; bikes are popular in my country, and they experienced a boom during the pandemic when people had more spare time and decided to use it as an opportunity to be healthier.

The original sentence has several sentence-structure issues: redundant wording ('a popular thing'), awkward subject reference ('it especially had a bit of a boom' where 'they' or 'bikes' is intended), and unnecessary or clumsy phrases ('had nothing to do and had a lot of spare time in their hands and that they decided to use it'). Correcting these yields clearer subject-verb agreement and more natural phrasing. Suggestions: use 'bikes are popular', match plural subject 'bikes' with plural verb/pronoun ('they experienced'), replace 'be more healthy' with 'be healthier', and simplify time/causal clauses ('when people had more spare time and decided...'). Grammar problem type ID: 26