Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and improve sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise supporting details using linking words. Be careful with technical terms (use '70cc' rather than '70 CCS') and avoid repeating filler words like 'Uh.'

例: Yes, I did. My first bike was a Honda 70cc, which I bought with my own savings when I was 16. It was my main way of getting to school and work, so I used it almost every day.

提案: Make the answer more precise and avoid overgeneralization. Start with a clear opinion, then provide two specific reasons linked logically. Replace vague phrases like 'every middle class' with 'many middle-class families' and explain 'for their own safety' more clearly (e.g., affordable and quicker in traffic).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Many middle-class families own them because they are affordable and fuel-efficient, and they allow riders to navigate heavy traffic more quickly.

× Uh, my first bike was Honda.

✓ Uh, my first bike was a Honda.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before a singular countable noun 'Honda' (a brand/model treated as a countable noun). Use 'a' to indicate one item: 'a Honda.' Suggestion: always use 'a' or 'the' with singular common nouns (e.g., 'a Honda', 'the Honda I owned').

× Uh, it was 70 CCS and I bought it with my own money when I was 16 years old.

✓ Uh, it was 70 cc, and I bought it with my own money when I was 16 years old.

Unit expression 'CCS' is incorrect; the standard abbreviation is 'cc' (cubic centimeters) and is uncountable here. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: write technical units in conventional form and use commas to separate clauses.

× I think bikes are really popular in our country because it is really convenient to travel and it is fuel efficient.

✓ I think bikes are really popular in our country because they are really convenient for traveling and fuel-efficient.

Pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to plural 'bikes'; use 'they'. Also 'convenient to travel' is awkward; use 'convenient for traveling' or 'convenient to use for travel'. 'Fuel efficient' describing 'bikes' should be hyphenated as 'fuel-efficient' before a noun or remain two words after linking verb. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and use correct preposition and hyphenation for compound adjectives.

× So every middle class owns a bike for their own safety.

✓ So every middle-class family owns a bike for its own safety.

'Every' requires a singular noun; 'middle class' as a collective should be 'middle-class family' or 'member.' Using 'their' with 'every' is informal and mismatches number. Better: 'every middle-class family owns a bike for its own safety' or 'many middle-class people own bikes for their own safety.' Suggestion: match singular 'every' with singular noun and singular pronoun, or rephrase to plural to use 'their'.