Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use correct tense and concise phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail. Avoid fillers and redundancy. For example, use past tense: “Yes, I did.” Then add a short supporting detail (where, what kind of bike, or a memory) linked with a simple connector like “and” or “which”.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small red bicycle that my parents bought me when I was seven, and I used to ride it to the park every afternoon.

提案: Answer directly, avoid excessive hesitation, and give a specific reason with clearer language and a linking word. Use more neutral phrasing (e.g., “I don’t think they’re very popular”) and support it with a concise, specific detail or contrast. Keep it to two to three sentences maximum.

例: I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country. Many people prefer motorbikes or cars for long distances, and some families cannot afford to buy bicycles for leisure or commuting.

× Yeah, I have a bike before when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The sentence uses present tense 'have' but refers to a past time 'when I was a child'; tense should be past. Also 'before' is unnecessary and awkward with 'when I was a child'. Use 'had' to match past context and remove 'before'. Suggestion: use past tense verbs to describe past events and avoid extraneous temporal words.

× Well, for, uh, for me it's not that popular because, umm, in our country, uh, there's a lot of poor people that cannot afford bike.

✓ Well, for me it's not that popular because in our country there are a lot of poor people who cannot afford a bike.

Multiple issues: 'there's' (there is) is singular but refers to 'a lot of people' (plural), so use 'there are' (There be issue/subject-verb agreement). The relative pronoun 'that' is better as 'who' for people. 'Afford bike' is missing the article 'a' (article error). Also remove filler words and redundant commas. Suggestion: use 'there are' with plural nouns, use 'who' for people, and include articles before singular countable nouns.