Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is honest and relevant, but it could be more concise and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No), then give one or two brief supporting details. Avoid overly formal phrases like "not privileged" in casual speech; say "we couldn’t afford one" or "we didn’t have one." Use linking words (e.g., "because" or "so") to make the reason clear. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child. I really wanted one, but my family couldn’t afford it, so I didn’t get one. Because of that, I usually walked or took the bus to school.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but is unclear and has grammatical errors. Begin with a clear opinion (Yes/No/It depends), then give specific reasons and use linking words like "because" or "however." Replace vague phrases ("hand buses") with correct terms ("public buses") and avoid filler words like "umm." Provide one concrete example to support your point.

例: Not really — most people commute by train, public buses, or cars because those options are faster for long distances. As a result, bicycles are mainly used for short trips or running small errands around the neighborhood.

× When I was growing up, my wish was to own a bike, but due to our family situation, I was not privileged to get access to a bike.

✓ When I was growing up, my wish was to own a bike, but due to my family's situation, I did not have access to one.

The phrase 'our family situation' is not wrong grammatically but 'my family's situation' is more natural because the speaker refers to their personal inability. Also 'was not privileged to get access to a bike' is awkward: use 'did not have access to one' for clarity and naturalness. Replace the repeated 'a bike' with 'one' to avoid redundancy. Suggestions: use possessive 'my family's' when speaking about personal circumstances and simpler verbs like 'did not have' for clearer expression.

× My country most people commit to work through umm train, hand buses and others coming to work through car.

✓ In my country, most people commute to work by train, by bus, or by car.

The original sentence has word order and word choice problems: 'My country most people' lacks required connectors and punctuation; 'commit' is incorrect verb choice (should be 'commute'); 'hand buses' is likely 'and buses'; 'coming to work through car' is ungrammatical — use 'by car'. The corrected sentence fixes word order, uses the correct verb 'commute', corrects 'and buses', and uses the preposition 'by' for transport modes. Suggestions: start with 'In my country' as a phrase, use 'most people commute', list transport modes with 'by' and separate items with commas or 'or'.

× So majorly bikes are are for really small errands.

✓ So mainly bikes are for small errands.

The original has a duplicated word 'are are' (typo) and uses 'majorly' which is informal and not idiomatic here; 'mainly' is the correct adverb. Also 'really small errands' is wordy; 'small errands' is sufficient and more natural. The verb 'are' correctly agrees with plural 'bikes', so the main issues are word duplication and adverb choice. Suggestions: remove duplicate words, use 'mainly' instead of 'majorly', and simplify redundant modifiers like 'really'.