Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조와 시제 사용을 개선하세요. 현재 완료형 ‘have’는 어린 시절을 말할 때 부적절합니다. 중복된 표현(“bought me a bike for me”)과 불필요한 메모리 검토(‘uh’)를 줄이세요. 간결한 주제문(예: 'Yes, I did.')으로 시작하고, 추가 세부사항은 하나의 자연스러운 문장으로 연결하세요. 또한 나이를 말할 때는 하나의 정확한 표현을 사용하세요.

例: Yes, I did. My grandfather bought me a bicycle when I was four or five, and I loved riding it around our neighborhood every afternoon.

提案: 의견을 더 명확히 하고 구체적인 근거를 제시하세요. 문장을 완성하지 않거나 어색한 구문(‘bicycle length service’)을 피하고, 정확한 어휘를 사용하세요. 연결어를 사용해 이유를 논리적으로 전개하고 예시나 결과를 하나 제공하세요. 예: 'Yes, I think so because…'으로 시작해 이유와 구체적 사례를 덧붙이세요.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are becoming more popular in Seoul because the city government has introduced a public bike-sharing system to reduce traffic and pollution, and many people use it for short commutes.

× Yes, I have a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

The question asks about possession during childhood (past), so the student should use the past tense 'had' rather than present 'have'. Use past tense when referring to past states or possessions. Suggestion: Use 'had' for past possession (e.g., 'I had a bike when I was a child.').

× When I was a child, my grandfather bought me a bike for me when I was, uh, four or five years old.

✓ When I was a child, my grandfather bought me a bike when I was about four or five years old.

The phrase 'bought me a bike for me' is redundant; 'bought me a bike' already indicates the recipient. Also 'uh' is a filler and should be removed in written or corrected spoken form; use 'about' for approximation. Suggestion: Remove redundant 'for me' and filler words, and use 'about' for approximations. Grammar types: redundancy relates to sentence structure (ID 26) and incorrect pronoun use (ID 12).

× Well, I think so because in my city, Seoul. Uh, government implemented the bicycle length service because of climate.

✓ Well, I think so because in my city, Seoul, the government implemented a bicycle-sharing service because of the climate.

The original contains a sentence fragment ('because in my city, Seoul.'), missing the main clause, and uses 'government' without an article. 'Bicycle length service' is incorrect vocabulary — likely 'bicycle-sharing service.' Also 'because of climate' needs 'the' before 'climate' or rephrase to 'because of the climate' or 'because of climate concerns.' Suggestion: Combine the fragment into one sentence, add the article 'the' before 'government' and use 'a bicycle-sharing service' and 'the climate' or 'climate concerns.' This addresses sentence structure (ID 26), incorrect use of articles (ID 22), and incorrect use of prepositions/phrasing (ID 11).