Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition, give a clear topic sentence, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Aim for natural phrasing and avoid redundant words.

例: Yes. I had a small blue bike when I was a child because my dad bought it for my seventh birthday. It had training wheels at first, but I learned to ride without them within a month, which made me feel very confident.

提案: Clarify the main point and avoid self-contradiction. Use linking words to organize reasons and provide specific details (e.g., costs, alternatives). Correct repetitions and singular/plural forms.

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country because most people prefer motorcycles for convenience. For example, motorcycles are faster for commuting and bicycles can be expensive relative to average incomes, so many people opt for cheaper motorbikes instead.

× Back in back in my childhood, I used to have a bike, which is a bike that my dad bought me.

✓ Back in my childhood, I used to have a bike that my dad bought me.

The sentence repeats 'Back in' which is redundant and creates a sentence structure error (fits category 26: Sentence structure errors). Remove the duplicate phrase and simplify the clause 'which is a bike that my dad bought me' to 'that my dad bought me' to avoid unnecessary repetition and improve clarity. Suggestion: say 'Back in my childhood, I used to have a bike that my dad bought me.'

× In my opinion, I don't think that bike is quite popular in my country because most people prefer motorcycle or bike and it's quite expensive to to buy a bike in my country.

✓ In my opinion, I don't think that bikes are very popular in my country because most people prefer motorcycles, and it's quite expensive to buy a bike there.

This sentence contains several issues: 1) 'that bike is quite popular' should use plural 'bikes are' to match general reference to the category (Grammar Problem Type 1 and 27: Singular and plural issue and Subject-verb agreement). 2) 'prefer motorcycle or bike' is incorrect—use plural nouns and parallel structure: 'prefer motorcycles' (Grammar Problem Type 11: Incorrect use of prepositions/word choice and Type 26: Sentence structure). 3) 'to to' is a typo/repetition; remove the extra 'to' (Type 26). 4) Repeating 'in my country' is redundant; replace the second occurrence with 'there' for conciseness (Type 26). 5) 'quite popular' changed to 'very popular' is stylistic but optional; main corrections fix number agreement and redundancy. Suggestion: 'In my opinion, I don't think that bikes are very popular in my country because most people prefer motorcycles, and it's quite expensive to buy a bike there.'