Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Start with a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence that directly answers the question. Avoid repetition and incorrect word choices (e.g., “heels” is wrong for bike parts). Give one or two specific supporting details (age you got it, who gave it to you, how you used it) using simple linking words like “because” or “and.” Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a small black bicycle my parents bought me for my eighth birthday, and I used it to ride to school and play with friends. I particularly liked it because it had a comfortable saddle and felt very sturdy.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar (avoid double words like “every almost every”). Add a specific reason or example to support your opinion using a linking word such as “because” or “for example.” Use one concise sentence for the opinion and one for the supporting detail to remain within the length limit.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient for short trips. For example, many teenagers ride bicycles to get to school or to meet friends on weekends.

× Yeah, of course I have one.

✓ Yeah, of course I had one.

The question asks about possession in the past ('Did you have a bike when you were a child?'), so the student should use past tense. Using 'have' (present) is inconsistent with the time frame. Suggestion: use past simple 'had' for completed past situations.

× This seems like the bike seems like color is black and just two heels.

✓ The bike was black and had just two wheels.

The original sentence repeats 'seems like' and uses awkward structure and incorrect word 'heels' instead of 'wheels'. The context is a past description, so past simple 'was' and 'had' are appropriate. Suggestion: avoid repetition, use correct noun 'wheels', and keep verb tense consistent with past time frame.

× Yeah, of course. I think every almost every teenagers have their own bike.

✓ Yeah, of course. I think almost every teenager has their own bike.

There are multiple issues: word order 'every almost every' is incorrect, 'teenagers' should be singular after 'every', and 'have' should be 'has' to agree with singular 'every teenager'. Use 'almost every' before singular noun and ensure subject-verb agreement. Suggestion: use 'almost every teenager has'.