Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), correct grammar (use past tense consistently), and give one or two specific supporting details. Keep the answer to no more than five sentences and use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes. My father bought me a yellow bike when I finished primary school, and it was my first bike. I used it every day to ride to my friend’s house, and I remember feeling very proud because I could ride without training wheels. That bike also taught me confidence and independence.

提案: Make a clear, grammatically correct statement, then support it with specific reasons and linking words. Avoid fillers and unclear phrases. Use plural/singular agreement and precise vocabulary (e.g., "increasing", "can't afford cars", "urban areas"). Limit to three sentences maximum.

例: Yes, bikes are becoming more popular in my country. This is mainly because urban traffic is heavy and many people cannot afford cars, so they choose bicycles as a cheaper and faster option. Additionally, more cities are building bike lanes, which encourages cycling.

× When I was a child, my father bought me a yellow bike.

✓ When I was a child, my father bought me a yellow bike.

No change needed: sentence correctly uses past tense to describe a past event.

× When I, uh, succeed in, uh, finally primary school, it was my uh, first, uh, bike in my life.

✓ When I finally succeeded in primary school, it was the first bike I had ever owned.

The original mixes tenses and has awkward word order. 'Succeed' should be past tense 'succeeded' (Past tense issue) and the phrase 'finally primary school' is incorrectly ordered; use 'finally succeeded in primary school'. Also, 'my first bike in my life' is unnatural; use 'the first bike I had ever owned.' Suggestions: use past tense consistently and place time expressions before the verb phrase or use 'succeed in' with the gerund properly in past form.

× I remember it, It's was very awesome.

✓ I remember it; it was very awesome.

'It's was' incorrectly combines present contraction 'it's' with past tense 'was'. This is a subject-verb agreement/tense error. Use a single correct tense: 'it was'. Also use proper punctuation (';') or separate sentences. Suggestion: avoid using contractions that conflict with verb tense and keep tense consistent.

× Yes, I see uh, the number of uh, bike in my country are res up year by year.

✓ Yes, I see that the number of bikes in my country is rising year by year.

Multiple issues: 'number of bike' should be plural 'number of bikes' (Singular and plural issue), and the subject 'the number' is singular so the verb should be 'is' not 'are' (Subject-verb agreement errors). 'res up' is incorrect; use 'rising'. Also add conjunction 'that' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'the number of + plural noun' and match verb to 'number' (singular).

× Uh, maybe cause, uh, they not, uh, the population in my country, the, they not have uh, the budget of cars or maybe the tow.

✓ Maybe because many people in my country do not have the budget to buy cars or the means to do so.

The original uses 'cause' informally and has fragmented clauses and incorrect negation. 'Cause' should be 'because' (Incorrect use of conjunction). 'They not' is ungrammatical; use 'do not' for negative in present simple (Modal/auxiliary usage). 'The population' is vague; better 'many people'. 'the budget of cars' should be 'the budget to buy cars' and 'the tow' is unclear; interpret as 'the means' or 'way' and render as 'the means to do so.' Suggestions: use 'because', include proper auxiliary 'do not' for negatives, and choose clear nouns ('many people', 'budget to buy').