Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (uh, mmm), correct vocabulary (‘‘four-wheel’’ and ‘‘two-wheel’’), and keep sentences linked and under five. Include a specific detail (age when you switched, a memory) using a linking word to make it logical.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small four-wheel training bicycle until I was about five, when my parents bought me a two-wheel bike. Because of that I learned to ride quickly and I often took it to the nearby park every weekend. However, we sold it last year because it had become too small for me.

提案: Make the answer more structured and precise. Start with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons linked with connectors (for example, 'because' and 'moreover'), and finish with a brief example or consequence. Use accurate collocations (e.g., 'motorbikes are common', 'public transport is limited'). Avoid repetition.

例: Yes, bikes and motorbikes are very popular in Vietnam. This is because they are relatively inexpensive and very convenient for navigating narrow streets. Moreover, public transport is limited in many cities, so most people rely on personal two-wheel vehicles for daily travel; for example, I see hundreds of scooters outside the train station every morning.

× I used to have a bike when I was a child.

✓ I used to have a bike when I was a child.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses 'used to' to describe a past habitual action.

× Uh, now I switched from a four wheel bicycle to A2 wheel bicycle since I was I guess about 5 and I usually take it.

✓ Uh, I switched from a four-wheel bicycle to a two-wheel bicycle when I was, I guess, about five, and I usually took it to the park.

Mixed and incorrect tense and number words: 'now I switched' mixes present/time adverb with past tense; use past tense 'I switched'. 'four wheel' should be hyphenated 'four-wheel' as a compound adjective and 'A2 wheel' appears to be a mistake; replace with 'two-wheel'. 'since I was about 5' is incorrect with past reference; use 'when I was about five'. 'I usually take it' should be 'I usually took it' to match past context. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense for past events and use correct hyphenation and number words.

× Took it to the park many times.

✓ I took it to the park many times.

Sentence is a fragment missing the subject; add 'I' to form a complete sentence. Also keep past tense 'took' to match narration of past events.

× MMM unfortunately we had to sell that bicycle since it's too small for me now.

✓ Unfortunately, we had to sell that bicycle because it was too small for me then.

Tense inconsistency: 'we had to sell' is past, but 'it's too small for me now' is present; change to past 'it was too small for me then' to maintain consistent past narration. Also 'since' can be ambiguous; 'because' is clearer for causal past events.

× I think that bikes and even motorbikes in Vietnam are quite popular since it is really cheap to purchase 1 and it is quite convenient to bring along with you.

✓ I think that bicycles and even motorbikes in Vietnam are quite popular since they are really cheap to purchase and quite convenient to bring along.

Subject-pronoun agreement and word choices: 'bikes and even motorbikes' is plural, so use plural pronoun 'they' and plural verb 'are' not 'it is'. Use 'bicycles' for formality and avoid numerals like '1' in speech text; write 'to purchase'. 'Bring along with you' is redundant; 'bring along' or 'take with you' is enough. Suggest keeping pronoun number consistent with subject.

× Now, Vietnam is also not a public transport place, so we usually have to bring our own bikes in order to go anywhere.

✓ In Vietnam, public transport is not common, so we usually have to bring our own bikes to go anywhere.

Awkward phrasing: 'Now, Vietnam is also not a public transport place' is unnatural. Use 'In Vietnam, public transport is not common' or 'public transport is limited'. 'Bring our own bikes in order to go anywhere' is wordy; 'bring our own bikes to go anywhere' is more natural. Also remove 'now' unless contrasting present time. Suggest rephrasing for clarity and natural preposition use.